With or Without You

"What I have suffered physically was worth what I've accomplished in life. A man who is not courageous enough to take risks will never accomplish anything in life..."

MISS WORK: Wow, I never though I'd miss working...This whole being unemployed starts to get monotnous after a while. No real income coming in, nothing to really do. It gets boring doing the same thing errday. I should look into getting some other type of job, like during the days when there isn't skool in session. I wonder if I could be contracted out through stanton and teach theatre. The down part of that is, wha happens if no one signs up or isnt a lot of people participating...then there's no money coming in. Im excited to start my new job though, to at least be doing something during the morning time. The comforting thing to know is that, at least I have a job now. On top of that, for until january, I have afternoons off to do whatever I need to do. Back to working 5 days a week wont be so bad, cuz it should be easy fun stuff. Sheesh its been forever since I've had a constant 5 day work week.

REDO: After class yesterday, I had to drive back down to St. Judes clinic and get my tb test results back. I figured it should be fast and easy...not what I expected. Apparently, the spot where I got tested is a little red in that area. A little swelling also the doctor said, probably from all the scratching I did. At any rate, I have to get retested again next fri. to make sure it's negative oh why?! He has a feeling its negative but isnt for sure, I guess if they retest then we'll know for sure. Oh man, I hope its a negative cuz well I've never been positive before. On top of that it may affect my job...ahh! So please pray that it's negative, I really want to work! Oh yeah I also have to repay another $10 to get it done again! agH!

LIVESCAN: I had to get fingerprinted again for wha has been my 5th time. I dont understand why its gotta be done at each agency. Im sure the dept. of justice has a file on errperson whos ever been fingerprinted. For those who dont know wha livescan is, its this hardcore computerized fingerprinting system. Instead of using ol skool stamp and ink, you know put your fingers on this glass and it copies to the computer. Then you can send it in right away and I guess the govt. sends the agency the results of whether or not you're a pedophile ha. Its juss a hassle getting it done each time. Oh well, at least its done, I juss hope my results come back real soon so I can start working.

LIMEWIRE: For some odd reason my limewire is all whacked out. I think many things on my laptop are whacked out. Hmm maybe it needs like a good cleaning, maybe I juss have too much junk on here. Anyhow, it starts up when I start up the computer and then sometimes it shows up as if I deleted the program. I dont know, I'm getting frustarted with the stupid thing. Though it juss started doing that recently. I need it to dload my music and other stuff. I dont know any other program thas as good. Kazaa sucks real bad thas why I uninstalled that junk.

TOO LAXED: I think I've been getting too laxed in my spirituality. With all this free time on my hands, I should be going to daily mass, daily...Fr. paul use to tell me all the time, you dont have to go to daily mass errday. Though I always enjoyed it cuz it juss helped me spiritually. I also miss praying the rosary w/friends. I wish I had more patience to juss sit still and not do anything. THough I cant ha my body juss doesnt work that way. Like I said though I've noticed Im getting spiritually lazy. Not good at all...I wanna start up the phone rosary thing again those were the good ol days. Calling random, well not exactly random(people I know)asking them if they wanted to pray the rosary. Then I'd kneel in front of my altar and pray, tthe feeling was great. Ahh, it's hard ot get back into those phases after being away from it for so long.

CONFIRMATION: Im starting week by week to get use these new sets of souls. I showed them my class from last year and errtime I look at the picture I juss :sigh: A lot of good memories and times were shared together, it is so hard to say goodbye to yesterday ha. THough, this new challenge ahead is interesting. We talked bout relationships tonite, ha relationships 101 + 2=103 as amtrack a & c put it. ha! Christ-centered, shared with them bout 'looking for the right one.' Using banne's whole car analogy of '03 ha, then switched it around with trying on shoes analogy. They seemed pretty responsive, but I dont know much they got out of it. Them being young, think that it's better to go from person to person, this way you can experience and learn from these past relationships. I guess to them its like a job, you go out w/someone, things dont work out 'oh well hey, time to move on.' I think they're still on, the whole 'its better to have love and lost then to have never loved at all' deal. I wish there was more time in class, thas always the problem, 1 hr and 15 min. is juss not enough time.

THE JAMS: You know the 90's had the best r & b jams from slow jams to juss plain r & b, it was d0pe. Groups like jodeci, boyz ii men, htown, new edition, dru hill, then you had artists like babyface...oh man I love babyface songs, they're the best! He had all jams, I thtink my fav was the remix of 'everytime I close my eyes' with mariah carey and kenny g. It was the jazz that made the song all the better. I loved dru hill also, they're last album enter the dragon? was bomb. I alwyas were putting their songs on repeat. Jon B and tony rich project...ahh more sooth songs for the soul. NOw a days its hard to find good r & b songs, cuz they all mostly sound the same.

NOT THAT INTO YOU: I picked up from the library that book 'he's juss not that into you.' Yeah I know, imma guy why the heck am I reading that? Its juss interesting to see if the things they say bout guys are really true. Or to find out exactly how they see it from another perspective. The book basically outlines and goes over errrexcuse a guy can give in regards to dating and relationships. Some parts I think are pretty extreme, while others are rather kinda funny. I hear there's a part two of the book also, so Im anxious to read that one, after I finish reading this first one.

HOW NITE: SO if you get the chance come to holy fam tonite and check out the new young adult ministry. We'll be in the meeting room this wed. I'm looking forward to praying together as a community again. WooO!

come to holy fam tonite!!

"When does my heart beat again..."im done, im out GOd bless!