"The saints give little thought to changing the world around them. They are too busy changing the world within them..."

I developed a theory called, 'God's Lay Away Plan.' Whas that mean? YOu know how it is, we go shopping we see something we like, we want to buy it, yet we know we cant afford at that time. Because we cant afford right now, cuz if we bought it, it very well may put us into debt. We end up putting the merchandise on lay away until we know we can afford it. To me thas the same way how God works with us. We'll have a particular intention and sometimes yet we want it answered so bad. Though God knows that were not ready for that particular need. He knows at the moment in time, we wont be able to handle it for other reasons. So God being the loving God He is, puts the need on 'hold' or 'lay away.' Until He sees we're ready able to handle what we asked for.

THough sometimes we get so frustrated w/God that we'l go up and do whatever we can to get that intention answered. Yet we end up facing the consquences later. Its like buying the piece of merchandise knowing you cant afford it and going into debt. The good part of putting on 'lay away' you could always come back to it. Same way w/God He knows your intentions, He hasn't forgtten about them, He's juss waiting to see when youll be ready to handle it. The best part of the whole 'lay away' plan is that when God does answer our intetion later on, we understand why it took so long to get answered. I know banne can attest to this for sure. Thas when we find ourselves maybe even laughing about it and saying, 'ahh good looking out God!' or ' I realized now why you waited so long to answer my intention.' So take God's 'lay away' plan into perspective and dont fret cuz God only wants the best for all of us. He'll make things happen if He knows in your best interest.

Im very happy i was able to get away for the weekend. God knew exactly what i needed and he gave it to me. I think all last week i was running close to 'E' on my spiritual life, and God filled me up again over the weekend. As i said during my last entry, i asked God to send me a sign and i asked St. Therese to pick me a rose from God's heavenly garden if i was called to be at this camp and St. Therese did exactly that for me. Jeanne told me thurs. nite go ahead and make the plans to go and if there are obstacles in the way of getting there, then its not God's plan for you to go.
To be honest i was skurred and hesitant even after the whole 'rose' confirmation on whether to go or not. I asked mark anthony last min. thurs. nite if there was room to go to camp still. Praise God cuz he said there was. He told me to meet up w/randell at interfaith before 4pm. So i thought well so far so good praise God.

Friday comes, i pack up and im still doubting whether im suppose to go or not. I told my mom last min. i was going and she was coo w/it. Again, so far errthang was running smoothly, which for some reason i was unexpecting it. I kinda had a feeling i may have to cancel out last min. I leave for uci 315pm, i got there skurred still wondering if i was doing the right thing. I was holding back cuz i thought oh man im walking into this my w/eyes closed not knowing whas going to happen. THen i was thinking wha happens if mark anthony forgot to tell randell i was going. So all the doubts and 'what ifs?!' kept running through my head like scrolling marquee.

I got to interfaith and i didnt see anyone i knew. So i got worried, i asked some of the people there and they didnt know anything about it. THey told me some guy was in the building for a whle then left. I started to think what happened if that was randell and he left w/o me. I didnt want to go home looking stupid. The time was like 350pm and i was skurred, so i thought do i call mark anthony?! But then i hate calling people who i dont talk to on a normal basis. As i walk outside i see randell coming up. The anxities go away and im like praise God!

We headed up the mountains w/a full load. Eileen, jermy and a new person named kristine. I was randell's co-pilot for the weekend. We hit hardcore traffic going up there, stopped once at target in riverside for snack and bafroom back. Randelle and i estimated we'd arrive at St. Anne's at about 830pm. Thas the exact time we got there. It was pretty empty when we got there. Mark anthony, chris b., chris p., tanya, michelle as well as some others were there already. I sat there as errone kinda messed around until the other bus loads came. Like UCR, USC, and whurrever else errone else came from. I sat there chillin was talking to tanya and michelle off and on. Found out that were gonna have talks this weekend. When i found out they were the same exact talks from sfc i was like agh!! Well for those of you know who know me, then you know how i am.

I told the girls saying, these are the same exact talks from SFC! They told me juss to listen to them and i may get something different out of them. So i sat there pondering on wha am i doing there? How was i suppose to get fed, if they were talks ive already heard 1000 times. From LSS' to Youf alpha's to SFCs. I was thinking i know who Jesus Christ is, i know what the Holy SPirit is, i know Wha God's love is all about. Something really d0pe was they had a small chapel in the retreat center, so i went there as often as i could and i sat in front of the blessed sacrament talking and talking and talking. Then i started to get impatient juss sitting durr not really doing anything, i ended up playing snake for a while. YOu know how how i hate lag time too! agh!

Finally, they get things rolling around hmm 10pm. As the other groups started to storm in, all i saw was like youf, young kids 5-6 years younger then me. I thought oh man im gonna be the oldest one hurr! Once they settled in, we played this ice breaker called 'signs' i think? Anyway, you get into groups and you come up w/some kind sign or gesture. Then you battle the groups by doing your sign then copying theirs. The group who messes up i guess has to split up and break up into the other groups. That was a d0pe icebreaker. Then we had a whole intro. orientation whas gonna happen for the weekend, open your mind and have a right attitude. You know the whole, 'youre only gonna get wha you put into the weekend' speel.

Later on like around 1130 or so they split up the groups into young adults and youf. Which i thought was coo, so they had same talks but different speakers for the groups. Chris P. gave the first talk on 'God's Love.' Then we split up into small groups, so errone wasnt really in the whole 'shurring' mood that nite, so i ended up taking the floor. I said well to me, God's love is right over there in the tabernacle. The eucharist for me is God's love. Thas how im reminded of His love errday during mass when i receieve Him. Knowing thas the most intimate physically relationship i can have with him for 15 min. My group leaders were like whoa, thas some deep stuff. Probably seemed like a lot in one group shurring to say, but hey thas how i perceive God's love. Im not going to sugar coat it.

Finally we got to go to our cabin's and get ready for bed at like 1am. Our cabin was freakin packed like no other. It was like a small house, really nice. So we had a house stocked up with at least 10 guys. Two story mini house w/5 beds at the top and small living room. This is the true story of 10 guys picked to live in a house and have their lives taped. Find out wha happens when these Christians stop being polite and start being real...the real world yfc big burr! haha

There was this guy who evidently was forced to go the camp and did not want to particpate at all. Supposedly he was originally wanting to go then had a change of heart last min. but since his mom paid already he was stuck. The whole fri and sat. people tried to talk to him and get him to participate he didnt want to do anything. He ended up leaving late sat. afternoon. I sat outside on the bench in front of my 'house' reflection on scripture and juss relfecting on my whole purpose of being at the camp. Charles came(the drummer from exodus) and we started our own mini praise & worship jam session. REally d0pe guy!

We had to wake up early sat. morning for we had a long day ahead of us. I wanted to wake up early and watch the sun rise but that didnt happen. We had a good breakfast, sausage and hotdog mixed w/scrambled eggs and rice. After the whole breakfast thign was over, we had praise & worship session again, they were teaching new songs. WE split up and had the 2nd talk, 'Who is Jesus Christ?' then there was two testimoniesm then split up for group shurring. I shurred that Jesus Christ to me is the person who started and established teh catholic church 2000 years ago. After the shurring one of the guys in my group came up to me and was like, 'Ja$on how do you know so much about the catholicism.?' I told him about taking aplogetics and why it was important to me to understand bout what it means being a catholic. HE goes yeah i need to read up on catholic apologetics, i said yeah it only helps in the long run.

SO we did this rock activity, which was pretty interesting analogy. Came back in for another talk on 'Faith, Repentance and forgiveness.' That was probably one of my fav. talks cuz a lot of things she said made sense. I really liked how she talked bout as far as realtionships go, being able to compliment the other person. Then after charles gave a really d0pe testimony bout forgiveness. It was to the point whurr i got emo and i had a turr in my eye. The testimony was inspiring to me cuz no mattered wha happened to him, he held on to his faith. He knew God was with him and would carry him through the pain and suffering. Please keep that guy in your prayers please.

After we had soaking prayer which was also time to write a letter to your parents. I ended up usng the time to pray, reflect on scripture and listen to what God was telling me. We had a whole like 3 hrs of time to kill before mass @ 4pm. They only had at that parish 4pm sat. mass cuz the parish is so small. So i walked around kinda chilled did whatevers. Walked up and down the hill, had a one on one w/my group leader. He was telling me what was going to take place later on in the evening. The whole baptism preparing me so i wouldnt be weired out, i told him yeah i understand and blah blah.

Crazy thing the service/core team was preparing themselves for the baptism they were doing praise & worship inside the chapel. As i looked inside people were getting prayed over. For some reason God was calling me to go in there to go in there to help. I kept passing back and forth wondering what to do. I finally went in there and did what God called me to do. Totally felt the spirit moving, people being healed and opening themselves up to God. Offering errthang they had to him that nite. LAter on as i was talking my w/my group leader i told him bout going in there. He goes to me, 'You got balls to go in there and do that, thas really awesome how you were able to do that. ' Anything to help praise God and help.

Went to mass, we filled up the church. The padre was in need of a eucharistic minister and i guess there wasnt one from the parish there. So he opened it up to see if there was any other ones from a visiting parish. No one raised their hand, so i did i thought i know how to distribute communion. Something that was totally different was during the distribution of the eucharist, the padre didnt pass it out. He sat down and gave the job to the eucharistic ministers. I was like whoa thas different. Anyway, i was holding the blood and passing that out.

After mass i took a nap for a while, woke up and errone was juss chillin hanging out. I walked into teh kitchen and funny thing was tanya and michelle had juss woken up too. Ate dinner, intro. more songs. then had the next talk bout the 'power of the holy spiirt.' Intro. the whole baptism of the holy spirit. It was funny the guy who gave the talk on the gifts was mainly focusin on the gift of tounges. He compared tounges to one of michael jackson's old songs, 'Wanna be Startin something.' Whurr he goes at the end of the song, 'Ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa, Ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa..." haha i started to bust up cuz i thought what a funny way to compare or to describe what tounges is.

Had the whole baptism in the spirit, i was a little dissapointed cuz my pryaing over was like 5 min. long! Its all good so during the soaking prayer, charles was playing/singing, 'the nails in your hands.' and 'lead me Lord' on the geetar. I had a propehcy to sing, 'I Love you Lord.' I was hesitant to shurr it but i kept getting the message so i told tanya to tell mark anthony to ask him if we could sing it. She comes back w/the song book asking me to look up to see if hte lyrics and cords are in the book. Well they werent, so she asked if i knew the lyrics i said yeah i do. I actually volunteered to sing it acapella stlye. So she told mark anthony and well so i went up to the front. That girl arlene found the cords she played it and this oteh girl sang it once. Then i started it up the first by myself. Praise God cuz i felt good after that.

After errone was all happy after the baptism. The whole hugging and jumping feeling. Michelle told me that her and tanya recieved the gift of tounges during the baptism. I was like praise God! I remember my first time experiencing the gift of tounges. ANywya after the whole huge praise & worship concert, errone did their own thing, i sat around w/some of the peoples and listened to jokes and stories and wha not. Woke up 7am this morning got ready and did my daily rosary in front of the Mama Mary statue. Thas what i would do errmoning wake up, get ready and pray my rosary for the day. yay!

Sunday we had one more talk bout like wha do i do now w/my life. You know the talk on the prayer wheel. So they talked bout the 4 spokes into making that wheel possible. IT was cool arlene used me as an example bout community. HOw i serve in my own community at Servant's Heart yet doing yfc also. She said Sh was a youf group haha i laughed and i thought oh man were not a youf group! all good though! From there, we had yfc personal testimonies on how its changed their life. Then they had parents come in as a suprised visit, it was some of the parents of the partiicpants. So they had quality time to do their own thing. ALso letters were given out. Kinda like a confirmation retreat activity.

Before the dedication ceremony they asked if the participants wanted to shurr their thoughts on camp. So i went up and shurred errthang from not expecting to go to the whole rose story. Some tita afterwards complimented me. Then we had the whole dedication ceremony, in order for us to get our name tags we had to do a dance. We had to do the whole 'pharoah, pharoah' dance. haha fun stuff! As of today im an official yfc member now! So im yfc and sfc, next yurr ill be cfc! haha

After errthag was over i got to talk to a lot of cool peoples. I was talking ot this guy americ and giving him some ideas bout how to help make his yfc community grow @ SDSU. I marketed SH and invited them to the anniversary and to prayer meetings. THey usually have theirs on tues. also but he was telling me well give up on tues. to come check you guys out. I thought that was totally cool. He told me i was an inspiration to him, i was like wow praise God. IT was coo i had SH business cards n my backpack so i passed those out like candy. On the way back we were all gonna join errone else @ mcdonalds at walmart but we missed the exit so we go back on the freeeway exit and we cant find it. So i told randell well i guess well go up to this next light and if we cant find it, then well juss eat some whurr else. Turns our after we eat the walmart was one more light. haha

Good convo on the way back home, jermy had a lot of questions bout catholiscm so i did the best i could to help answer those. Talked bout the differences between protestantism and catholisicm, which i totally love talking bout. Then we were talking bout relationships, the 3 of us randell, jermy and i. I told them bout the triangle relationship and how you gotta be able to spiritually compliment the other person. YEt i said the single life is coo too cuz who knows God could be purifying that special person for you. OR it could be the other way around. Randell told me on the way back he goes, 'The service team really appreciated you being at camp. Erwin said you really helped the discussion group.'

So with that im going to close w/this. I really made the best out of the weekend, spending a lot of time w/Jesus at the blessed sacrament, a lot of prayer time which you can never go wrong. A lot of reflection on scripture and juss on God's creation. THe mountaints the perfect place to get away for the weekend, away from the whole city life. Sat. nite after praise & worship i realized God called me to this camp, not only to get served, but yet to help serve as well. To help the service team pray for these participants. I pray that the all the participants continue to build upon the foundation that was made this weekend and make it grow.

Met a lot of d0pe people like that girl julie who put together the bball tounry. We were like weve seen each other before but whurr?! haha This weekend was like a flashback from sixth grade camp! Music, food, fellowship, cabins and education! yay! That they only produce good fruits of teh spirit and keep their heads up in rough times. Tanya and michelle were totally awesome this weekend w/their hospitality and always smiling. Praise God for such a great community!

"Complete me, consume me Lord..."im done, im out GOd bless!