"Many times we find ourselves asking God, "why" but i've learned that, that is His call to hold strong to my faith, so i invite you to answer his call in times of trouble and hold on..." -ja mess from oxnard

When i heard ja mess say that unexpected little tid bit at the end of their skit, it was like wow. So many times its like when things dont go the way i want to, i question God, why? its like im questioning authority, when i shouldn't question, but juss go w/the flow and do it. And when i do question, thas when the doubting comes into play. Though i have to continue to remember all the time, that no matter what God is there. The point being of this quote though is, God calls us errday. Errday we are called by Him to hold on when those waves start to crash agaisnt those rocks. Yet, we fail to do that, kinda what tita beyonce said in her blog bout driving in our own direction. We juss gotta know and believe that things, will get better. There are reasons why events occur, its not our duty to question, juss to listen and follow.

Oxnard;s skit was really d0pe, and powerful, juss like the one they did last year also. I guess they named the skit, "vices and virtues." About how the devil takes his vices, like his demons asking them what is something they could use to take back souls. They figured time, alwyas letting them think they got tomorrow to fix things. So theres this girl, errthang is going well in her life, they way she wants it to be. Her family is going well, shes got a bf etc. So her i guess you could call it her guardian angel offers her a rosary. She turns it away, thas when things start to go downhill for her. She gets an "F" on her proj. for skool, this is hwere she first questions God asking why? The guardian angel comes back and gives her a bible she turned that away also. Her relationships w/her family are going wrong, her bfs breaks up w/her. The girl being upset, breaks down and blames Jesus and tells him, you say to carry your cross, carry it yourself, while throwing at him. The guardian angel comes back again, giving her some spiritual advice. After being convicted and realizing what the angel said, shes heads off to pray. Though before she could do that, the devils demons stopped her and killed her before she could go to pray.

I was going to blog last nite, but i knew if i did id be really tired today. I had to wake up early to go help el huego move. So as youre probably going to see this entry today might be long. If it is brace yourself! hahaha
I dont know where to begin, im filled w/so much thought, hopefully ill get it all down hurr. This weeked was pretty good, even though i didnt get a whole lot of sleep. So i guess i'll start w/the SOl youf rally and talk bout how d0pe that was.

Yesterday was the sol youf rally, which was something that happens erryear. Last year was the first time i went, it was something that helped me get to know errone in SH. On top of that, i didnt know anyone really at all, and i dindt know the real presence of Jesus being in the eucharist. Some of them went to mass @ 8am, i didnt get to go to mass. After mass, we went to the market to pick up some food for lunch. Gotta have that food, ya hurrd me! haha Then we we were on our way to the Sol yoUF rally. We got there and we had to wait for aela, fred, morice and achie cuz they were in some leaders meeting. So we waited outside by the entrance for them to come to give us our stuff. It was so loud and roudy and all hyped up in there.

I saw bess pass by as we were waiting in line. woOOooOOoo! Well since im on that issue, let me talk bout that to get it over wif. Saw bess, we hugged and that was about it. I didnt get a chance to really talk to her, though i had a ocuple of opportunities, but didnt take them cuz for some reason i was skurred. Though it was d0pe cuz errtime we passed by each other she smiled at me. She's so nice, swe3t and not to mention pretty too! woo! ::sigh:: oh man she's got a d0pe voice too when she sings, its soooo warm. haha wow bess is d0pe!

The rally seemed to ahve went fast this year cuz there wasnt a whole lot of the same stuff. Like last years, there was a whole lot of dancing hurr and durr. ALmost like an SOL pcn or something like to that affect. The talks was good, they had one guy who was 28, soon to be ordained next year as a priest. Then they acknowledged the groups who took on the coporal works of mercy challenge. Man we didnt get to have lunch till like after 1pm. Then they only gave us 20 min. too, which dindt leave me anytime to get to know people. I saw bess though! haha wha else the skits were convicting, there was this other what i saw like an suicide skit remix.

The praise and worship songs medley that other communities chose to do was good too. The only thing is next year i hope we got a grip of people to go to the rally. I hate sitting in the very back and not being able to see anything. SOl daygo one the spirit award, SOL rowland heights one it last year. SO i guess it goes back and forth errryear then. hahah i felt carson shouldve won it, all the spirit they were showing. NOt only to their community, but like the whole day. Our praise & worship was d0pe! i did waht strider asked of me and i start to pick random girls to come and dance. That was d0pe cuz i juss ran out there and tired to get girls.

They had adoration all throughout the rally, that was d0pe cuz it was open to errone. Juss being there in front of the blessed sacrament is breathless. Then they had reconcilation also during mass. I had to go twice cuz the first time i didnt hear the priest give me an absoultion. haha that was skurry cuz ive never had that to me in my whole experince w/the reconcliation. It was funny, cuz anthony from carson went to the same priest i went to the first time. So i asked him too, if he got the absolved, juss to make sure he got one. Then raymond said, "lets kill him and find out!" hjahah that was funny. Good thing i was able to get absolved cuz it bothered me not getting one. After i got one, i came out relieved and happy again! haha

I enjoyed the rally more cuz i knew people and seeing all the different communities out there made me inspired. It made me want to go and check out all the different groups there are. Thatd be fun to meet new and interesting people. So all and all the rally was pretty d0pe, it was good. Left right after mass to my grandparents 58th anniversary party. I found out that its confirmed that my cousin is getting married on my birfday. ::sigh::: oh well, i guess i'll see wha happens regarding that whole issue. Then strider, jeanne, JL and i went to eat @ fridays. MMmm it was good! i got to have the buffalo wings. I dont know why for some reason ive been craving it for a while.

Daylight savings time is always hard to get use to. I woke up early this mornign to help el hugeo move. My goodness i cant believe all the stuff he has for jsus one person! maan thas crazy, though it went fast and great. We got errthang done and accompished for the day. I liked el huegos mom she's really funny and juss a joy to talk to. She started to call me doug too cuz she heard el huego call me that. Right now im getting sleepy this is where the blog starts to get crappy. Went to episode concert tonite, which was ehh. Wasnt as good as last years. That girl april though is cute, i got to talk to her real briefly too.

Ive been getting good emails lately that realy pertain to me. Like this one...
Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?
by Fr. John Powell

At various moments of my life, when I am relating to and communicating
with others, I observe myself in action, and I ask, "Is this the person I
would like to be?" With this I quietly ask God to help me become my ideal.
I ask him to empower me to practice what I preach. Help me to be real. If
I am not real, I am nothing.

My life will only be a charade. I dread this thought, that death will come to me like the final curtain of a command performance. I will then wipe off my stage makeup, take off my costume, give back my lines to the author, while the audience continues to applaud me for being someone I never was.

I know that when I come to die, God will look for scars, not medals. When
I am dying, I want to remember the times when I was real and honest, when
I shared myself in an open self-disclosure as an act of love.

I want to remember the times when I gave to those who were hungry the food of my sharing, to those who were thirsty the drink of my listening and understanding, to those who were locked inside themselves the gentle,
extended hands that said: "come out. You will be safe with me." I want to
remember the times when I offered the healing gift of loving and caring to
those who were in need.

Then earlier this mornign i was really convitcted w/this bible verse, "[be] confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6) Meaning i need to worry about my own calling before God and only that. Be thankful for who i am and what i am. HOw i cant compare myself to others and juss be cheerful. I know God has plans for me, i juss gotta figure out exactly what they are.

"All we listen to is all the different yous Four page letters in addition to Have you ever loved somebody used to get the party poppin..."im done, im out God bless!