A Victim of His Love
"How often I failed in my duty to God, because I was not leaning on the strong pillar of prayer..."
So last nite I went to my LFT meeting its our prep for the 'Victim of His Love' retreat coming up next weekend. Oh my how I am so crunked for this retreat to come. I think it's probably going to be the best retreat I've ever been to. It's going to be a real 'eye opener' for many people, including myself. Obviously I cant reveal the details of the retreat, but juss know if you're planning on going, you're gonna come out w/soo much love for the Lord. Too bad not more SH people whurr going...oh well.
Its funny how you run into ol people you went to skool with. Sometimes thurr @ the sturrs, sometimes at skool etc. etc. Well anyway the other day at work this kid comes into the center telling me this man needs help. I go outside to see wha all the commoition is about and see this ol man in his wheel churr. Apparently, he locked himself out of the house and needed oxygen. He asked if I could go to the sheriff's station and its closed. So then I offered if he wanted me to call the furr dept. From wha he told me sounds like this happens pretty often.
ANyway, I call the furr dept. and explain wha happens then they come. Not only does the furr dept. come so do the paramedics. The paramedic guys come out and this guy goes to me, 'jason fish.' I looked up and it was this who I went to hs with. I was like whoa! Did the whole small chat thing and its good to see some people have made progress in thurr life, and have accomplished things. Then after he left I actually sturrted to think things I've accomplished. Then I stopped cuz I couldnt think of anything, haha how sad. Agh I'm not done w/skool or anything of that matter.
Thurrs this funny commercial about this manican and it shows him w/this female mancian. You see them at the beach together, you seem eating dinner together, doing all this 'couple things.' Then all of a sudden he opens his eyes from the employee spraying his face to find out it was only a dream. OKay I guess its one of those things whurr you gotta watch it to believe it or something like that. Its a robinsons may commerical, if you see it then youll laugh.
Originally I wasnt going to do this cuz I thought I'd have too many people to write bout. Then as it was on my mind the whole day I was able to narrow it down...haha so hurr goes nothing!
TRY THIS: write ten statements intended towards ten different people but never tell them it was about them or would never say it to their face or something you wish you would have said, but never did.
#1-Wow I'm ever so grateful of our friendship. Im grateful to know that even though we may not see each other or talk to each other errday like before, were still real close. We've only known each other for wha 4 yurrs, but it seems forever. It's so funny all things we've done not only together but w/the others. Oh man I'll never forget the first time you told me bout well you know wha. Or the time when you needed me to check your mail to see if you got a email back from ha! All them corny sapless love letters haha ohhh maan! Fun stuff, fun stuff! Then working w/the 'beast' and all the whales of tale we'd shurr bout her! haha Or remember the time when we went to her house and whoa!! Even though I know you wont be able to read this, thanks juss for errthang. Thanks for always juss keepin it real w/me. You were one of the reasons why I was hesitant to get this new job. Praise God though cuz I'm glad we've bof been able to grow and come out of our own comfort zones. I'm hurr for you and I'm always praying for you and your family. Love ya!
#2-You know ever since you left, things changed. In a sense its kinda like you quit keeping in touch w/all of us. It's sad cuz I thought the three of us were all close and errthang. I do praise God though for getting to know you better cuz through you I've made some really good friends. I mean geez I ended up becoming a lot closer to them than you did. Whas crazy is that these were guys you went to hs with and some of them you even went to jr. high with. Dont get me wrong I miss the fun times we had together. YOur sister's purrties, remember the sleep ova?! haha that was like the first sleep ova I had geez in who knows how long. Or the halloween purrties or even remember the pretend fortune readings! Haha I always wished though your personality was a little more 'upbeat.' I dont know its juss errtime I told you something, i always got your infamous 'oh.' Oh?! At least add another word after 'oh,' cuz it sounds so vague like youre not interested. I never understood how youd help out on thurs. but never made it a point to go to mass. Praise God though youre at least helping out. Well Im praying for you and hopefully I'll see around more often.
#3-You're such a trip w/your stories and juss your wild crazy adventure you go on. Though you and I always had this special connection. Ha as gay as that may sound its true, I guess cuz of our religous beliefs. I'm glad though our religous differences never came in the way of our friendship. Although thurr whurr times whurr you were juss soooooo unreliable, when it came down to needing you, you whurr thurr. I mean the times when I'd have to currpool w/my mom, you were like my taxi driver. Good thing we went to the same skool. I really appreciated those times, picking me up from skool, dropping me off of at work etc. etc. Ha its funny how when you broke your arm I ended up having to do the same thing for you. Well actually juss take you to and from work. Thas wha friends are for though right?! haha All your crushes you had like errweek it was like a new flava of the week. Oh man too fun of times. The thing that sucks is how you can easily get influenced by other friends. I really believe thas why you converted and left the catholic church. I know too how you go through your mountains and desserts, but juss keep praying. Im praying for you to convert back to the truf someday.
#4-Dang, you know I cant believe how much youve changed. Its like a complete opposite of what usually happens. Its usually bad gone good, but w/you its the good gone bad. I dont know wha happend to you, but the person I once knew is no longer thurr. Its like you're this completely other person. Like the expression goes, 'you become who you hang out with' or something like that, well I proves true for you. To thing we whurr once close and you helped me out w/stuff. YOu did this complete 180 spin that had errone off thurr feet, wondering 'wha happened?' Do you even think bout the people you left behind? Do you even think bout that past life or have you completly erased from your mind? Agh you've been given errthang and you screwed it all up. Its time to stop being selfish and take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Im praying taht one day you'll wake up and see all the hurt you've caused to others.
#5-I dont think thurrs anyone else who I have the weirdest friendship with. God blessed me w/a stupid head like you! haha jk Naw forreals he blessed me w/one great older brother. I appreciate errthang you've done for me. From helping me w/my maf till like 12am even when you had work the next morning @ 7am. Honestly, I never expected us to become as close as we have but I praise God for it. Even though you can bug me to deaf or at least we bug each otherto deaf, its nice to know we still got mad love for each other! ha I love your family and you love mine! yay!!! haha Sometimes you juss want too much from me agh and you take advantage of my kindness! hhaa agh stop! Although we've gone through bumps in the road, we've gotten through it w/the grace of God. To me whas a true friendship w/o hardtimes? Even though we'll never reach a 'bi-partisan' agreement on many things, thanks again for errthang...agh happy now?! haha
#6-Dang its crazy how we use to talk at least once errday, and it was like that for a long time too. Then our phone bills got too high...haha Anyway, youre one of them peeps I really praise God for. It's so funny how we have so much in common and juss all the different things we're doing now. Thanks for helping me out in rough times, for giving me advice when needed, and juss hepling me see a different perspective of things. You make me laugh ha forreals! You truly are one a kind and I know I cant count on you for almost anything. Im praying that soon you'll be able to figure out and find wha youre true vocation in life is. Its good to know that you've cut down on all the partaying...ha at least I hope you did.
#7-Maan you never listen to anyone, I heard bout your little 'accident.' All I can say is that errone told you so and thas wha happens! You always be letting people take advantage of you and they know it. Thas why people continutally screw you over in the end and leave you w/nothing. Dang nothing ever phases you and thas sad. I honestly think that this guy youre with now, he juss using you cuz he knows you have a house and a curr. To him thas all that matters and if he has to sacrifice and do things he doesnt want to do he'll do it. Im juss waiting for the day till he leaves you and youre left w/nothing. Im probably never gonna get back the $20 you owe me which is sad. You expect people to pay you back when they borrwo from you and yet you dont even do the same. YOure lucky I dont tell certain individuals how youre really like and wha you really do. Dang you better check yo self before you wreck yo self...on the reals!
#8-I wonder how youre doing, geez we quit talking since our senior yurr? I know you were going to UCR and im sure by know you've already graduated. Its juss funny how we met and errthang. I still have the group sadies pic in my room. Too bad our couple one ended up getting lost, which sucks. I forgot if you even followed through w/getting the refund on that too. I run into your friends too erronce in a while, and they ask me if we still talk and I say no. You know whas funny at one point, I actually thought thurr was a chance...Anyway, hope youre doing well and hope youre successfuL! haha take curr and GOd bless!
#9-You know it was coo how we became close friends. Then thurr was that once incident which really left a wound. After that things whurr never the same, it was hurrd cuz I really wanted to a whole a grudge even though I knew I couldnt. It was real frustrating and at times when we saw each other, I felt like I had to put up a front. It sucks when someones actions get misinterpreted, when theyre only meant to be good. You know to this day, I still dont understand wha made you change your mind. It was like you said one thing one min. then within weeks later changed your mind?! Nonsense! Praise God that the wound was healed and I was fully able to forgive. Although I've moved on from it, I've also learned a lot from it as well. THough we dont even talk anymore at all, I dont think you ever understood wha happened. Oh well..I'm still praying for you.
#10-Oh man its been forever since we've last talked. Though you and have shurred some really wonderful memories together. You never called me back that nite I returned your call. I dont know if I'll ever be able to understand you. You keep putting yourself in the same situations over and over again. Do these things ever phase you?! Its people like you who have me scratching my head in frustration. I guess when youre so comfortable its hard to dettach yourself away. You juss really need to move on w/your life, like on your own. Forreals, you couldve been so successful by now, if you didnt have such attachments to certain 'people.' Errtime we talk and catch up, it always the same story over and over again. When you use to call me and cry to me, it weirded me out cuz as much as I wanted to be sympathetic I couldnt. Each time we talk to, its always the same thing, 'oh he's changed, he's not like that anymore.' Some people juss never change though...forreal get your move on and be the successful oprah youve always wanted to be! haha
"And 300 thou' you couldn't even buy the keys..."im done, im out GOd bless!
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