I Hate Chicken Heads

"Humility is not letting people use you as a doormat..."

EXHAUSTED: I knwo some of the past couple of entries have been real bland, I've been wanting to say more, but by the time I get to blogging I'm so tired. I'm feel pretty good tonite, so hopefully I can write a more tasteful entry and remember some of things thas been on my mind. Praise God for this mini vacation! To think I was actually considering going back to work for the rest of the time being on a light duty. Ha! So much for that idea, if I was real adventrous I'd love to take drive down to the abbey in oceanside. However, I'm not so you could scratch that idea out.

NEW VIEW: My dad can be so funny sometimes, he'll start on the most randomest projects without even finishing the last one. Kinda like how a child starts something yet, doesnt pick up their mess and moves on to somethign else. Well I come back from the mall on sunday and I see that he knocked my back window in my room. I walk into my room and I see chaos! If you know me well enough you know how I can't stand for unorganizaton. He put a new window in my room, so one down one more to go. Its really nice, its the type of windows my sister has in her room. Though, he's not quite finished fixing it up. By the end of summer I should ahve the other in place. Then maybe by fall I can start on repainting my room and all that jazz.

MISS IT: It's funny how friendships come and go, when youre younger you think the world of your friends that you juss meet. Friendships build, attachments begin to happen, and then soon before you know it they're out of your life. When you're younger, you think errone is your friend. It was a lot easier to make friends w/people, you find something common to talk bout and bam then you're friends. As you start to grow up going through jr. high & high skool, making friends becomes a tad bit more difficult. You kinda do wha you can to 'try and fit; to be accepted into the group.' Acceptance...oh man thas a whole other topic to talk about. Yet some of these people whom you have made friends with, well things slowly start to change and things become real distant. Slowly you start to drift by not talking as much, things become awkward then before you know you guys dont even talk anymore. I kinda miss those people who walk into your life for some 'temporary' reason and then walk out. Though of course there was a reason to cross paths at that particular time.

FRIENDS: I rely heavily on friendships, or more less I value friendships a lot. Though its interesting, how errone values or sees the word friendship in a different perspective. Wow I jusss now was looking through that little book called, 'I like you because...' and it said that caught my eye: 'To have friends we need humility. A person who is so full of himself that there is no room for anyone else is his life will go thru life friendless.' Ever since I can remember, I never really had any trouble making friends. Probably cuz I was so talkative, social, and active in errlitttle thing. My sister was a bit different cuz she was so shy and quiet. Complete opposite of how I am. Im apprerciative w/the people that have I become friends with. Im grateful for all the things they do for me. Its great to know you're not alone.

ACCEPTANCE: Its always hard being the 'new' person in the group. You quickly want to gain their respect and their friendship. Some people end up doing whatever it takes to gain this attention and acceptance from others. Its sad when you can see deep down a genuine person and yet they do stupid stuff to try and be 'accepted' by their peers. I know I've done my share of retarted things when I was younger to fit in. I see this common trend with kids in society today. They think being the norm is the one who goes along w/errone else. They really miss out on juss 'being themselves.' The world teaches us that you need to crave attention. People will like you if you are who you are. No need to put up a front and act like someone you arent. God made you the way you are for a certain reason, deal with it. ha

PURPOSE: I miss my uci yfc friends, chillin w/them, yfc meetings, and all that stuff. Last year was great cuz I made a lot of new friends at uci, I was there so much that many people actually thought I went to that skool. This year, I've been a bit distant, not over there as much as I thought I would be. No, nothing negative or bad happened, in fact I think God opened the door for something else ot happen. I realized last nite, that this year I've been grateful enough to really get to know some of the people I was serving w/in my own parish. God allowed beautiful fruits to come out something unexpected. There was a purpose in not being around as much as I was last year.

THE DINNER: I wanted to write last nite bouot the dinner, but I was juss dead when I got home last nite. First off, lesson #1 in going to SRE diinners, always get there early enough so you can reserve seats for the people you want to sit with. Otherwise, you end up at a table where you feel totally uncomfortable cuz you dont really know the people youre sitting with. Ha I've had that happen to me one too many times. Abe and I got there fair amount of time. I was thinking 'who the heck am I going to sit with?'

THE WHO: I wanted to be able to sit w/liz and some of the tues. nite teachers. Yet, at the same time, I wanted to sit and talk w/chie and aela also. Though, I also wanted to sit and talk w/some of the thurs. nite teachers like heather, chris, and gabe. We got there and a lot of the seats were already filled. Abe sat w/calvin at some other table. Heather got there at the same time I did. We found a table that was half way filled, so the other way she was going ot save for gabe and chris. It wassnt going to work out cuz cyndi was savinng two seats herself, so there wasnt enough, We moved to sit w/the thurs. nite staff w/sandy and there was enough seats to save for chris and gabe. I tried to save some for chie and aela, but people were quickly reserving seats for other people like it was the cafteria or something. Anyway, the 4 of us had a great time laughign together. I'm sure you could tell by the pictures. The red was so good, so good that I think I had one too many glasses. ha

ONE IN A MILLION: I love reminiscing on old IM convos, old photos, old letters, and more. Some people dont need to save stuff cuz they save all the memories in their head. Howevevr, even though I can remember a lot and share w/my friends, 'remember when...' ha I still like to have physical material stuff to reflect back on. Its funny how my convos w/people have evolved since Ive first gotten the internet. Not only juss that but juss the way I talk or reply back to certain things. Thas why old IM convos are fun to read cuz it shows how much you've grown and matured over the years. Old photos are d0pe cuz they really capture the 'moment.' You look back on it and that memory replays fresh in your mind as if it juss happened. Letters are great as well cuz helps remember wha was going in your life at the moment in time. How OA you were bout certain things, describes errthang. Stuff like this is priceless, they're one a million.

GRADUATIONS: Went to 3 graduations rolled into one tonite. The burr and boss lady received their masters and the peebs received her bachelors in nursing. Heif told me how at her graduation last fri. it was so hot that she ended up leaving early cuz she was getting sick. Theres a ton of people graduating this year, I guess this is the year too graduate.

UGLINESS: I will forever have this ugly image embedded in my head. Juss thinking of it trips me out. At dinner tonite there was a friend chicken head on the plate w/the rest of the chicken. I didnt even notice till the end of dinner. Here's the funny thing, I had my eyes closed kinda looking the other way, Well when I turned out and opened them there was the chicken head. I so tripped out that I kinda let out a small scream. The people behind us looked at me like I was weird or something. I juss have this thing w/animal heads, that I hate looking at them. Whenever I look it juss trips me out it scurrs me. I dont know why either it juss does. Aghh sick!
CATCHING UP: Ran into some people today who I havent talked to in a while. I went to go visit fr. paul today since it's been a while since we've really talked. SHared w/him a lot of the stuff I was going through this month, the trials that were happening. I love talking w/him cuz he's a great listener. On top of that some of things he shares w/me is real insightful. Saw erica today at the cerritos mall. Even though I was kinda pressed for time and so was she, we still managed to kinda catch up. Im glad she's one of those people that never fail to greet you and hug you, no matter how long its been since you've last talked. Then there was talking w/banne tonite was fun. I miss talking to her online or the fantastic convos we would have traveling together. The hope and shawn d. adventures, were the best! =)

SMILE: When talking to fr. paul today bout trusting in God, a certain memory popped itno my head. I remember it was one friday afternnoon in march, I was at the soratorios, boss lady and I hung out that afternoon. ANyway, we were chillin and talking, and all of sudden banne comes home w/a real life sunflower and gives it to me. Then on the little card it said, 'Just because...' with the verse from famous verse from proverbs 3:5, 'Trust in the Lord w/all of your heart.' Then it said, 'smile, =) you're a sunflower' Awww...then my sunflower died, and when banne came back from hawaii a couple years ago, she brought me back another one, only this time it was wooden. Now my sunflower wont ever die! Yay! A month later I went into exile haha

WORD UP: So during dinner boss lady, banne, and I talked bout saving blogs. Its a good idea that if you blog a lot of meaningful stuff you should some how save it. Im glad that boss lady came up w/the whole saving blogs concept. I have 6 binders full of nothing but my blog entries. If one day blogger ever shuts down or something, at least you have all your memories w/you. Even if you cant print it out but at least copy and paste it on to word or something. Dooo something to save your blog entries. They're really fun to read, well the old entries at least.

FLASHBACK: FRIDAY, MARCH 23, 2003
"When youre laying in your deathbed, its not going to matter how much money you made or how popular you were or how much people thought you were great. The only thing thats really going to matter to you, when youre laying in your deathbed is your relationships, how you loved others and how they loved you..."

I finally got the chance to listen to that Cd called, "the truth." The one jeanne gave out on tues. it is basically the truth. The father gives a great talk bout errthang, how to give back to God, how to love others and more good stuff. He's really blunt and throws out the god card a lot. El huego said tonite, his god card is a lot more powerful or effective then ours. I said uh yeah, maybe cuz hes a priest and well yeah. hahaha i was listening to this on my way to work and i as heard the priest say this, it stuck out. So i had to hurry and write it down right quick. He makes a good point saying the only thing that matters before you die, is how you loved others. Did i treat people w/kindess and respect, did i give my whole heart to them. HOw did my brothers and sisters love me?

Then he went on to say, if what that quote meant was true then we gotta look at our priorities. Number one, our first and main priority is, God. Talking to Him errday, spending time w/Him, loving him. Then number two, second priority is your family. Loving others, starts with your family. The priest gave this example of this little girl, who was praying w/her mom along side the little girls bed. She said you know, God bless mommy, daddy, snoopy errone else etc. Then she added, "God and let mommy be as nice at home as she is at church." He pointed out how sometimes that;s the way we are, we put up fronts for people. Like errone else at church or work or skool could think were the greatest people, yet we treat our families like garbage. Then hurr comes on sun. i take the eucharist and its like here i am "look how holy i am." YEt i still treat my family like garbage.

Do i affirm my family? Do i build them up? If not You cant say, "Jesus is Lord of my life," and treat your family like that. Cuz thas wrong, that garbage, keep it real. If Jesus is in charge of your life, you can tell cuz youre more loving and that begins at home. YOu should never go a day w/o telling them how much you love them. If youer loving at home, then you tell the people at home that you love them. You gotta learn to change cuz its time, especially now a days. Why did God make me? God made me to know him and to love him. If im going to love him, that means im going to love others also. Because Jesus said, "if you love me, keep my commandments." Then he said, "This is my commandment, love one another as I have loved you." Jesus gave up his life for others and he told the people around him he loved him, so that must be the same for us. Kuya tells me he loves me, in fact he juss told me last nite. It made my puso hurt and made me cry...awww haha jk check it...
blue83212: kuya's going now
blue83212: bye hijo!!!!!
blue83212: i love you!!
blue83212: hahahaha

agh so i finally made a declaration that no longer will kuyas named be spelled the double o y a. I dont know hwy he doesnt like it, he makes a big deal out of it! agh so i changed it back to kuya. The things i have to go through to take care of this guy. HIm and his songs that he sings all the time. When does it end? oh the agony of the stupid song he makes up and then it ends up getting stuck in my head forever.
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fl
JPFish187: hhaha
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!
blue83212: r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y r-o-b-b-y u so fly! u so fly!

I started to type this last nite, when i got home i got too tired and i had to stop. I dont knwo if you noticed but i added and edited it a few things on hurr. First off, i change some of the blogs, i took off the ones who dont blog anymore and replaced them w/new blog links. Erica's link has been changed cuz she has different site. Gail's as well cuz she has a 'blurty." THen i juss added this morning, tita beyonce's link to the rest of the bloggers. Woo another person who has hopped on the blogtrain.

Lets recap my day from yesterday, shall we. I went to mass @ 8am, its always a nice thing to start your day off w/mass. After i got ready and ran over to work cuz i had to talk to an elementary skool bout camp stanton. In a way i wish we didnt have the spring break camp cuz then it kinda ruins my own spring break. Oh well i guess it'll me more $$ for me in the long run. Lyn²'s pre skool program i heard was a hit once again! woo im really proud of her cuz of all the progress she has made within a month. How d0pe is that, her pre skool program is off the hook and so will her polynesian dancing program. She's got a grip of kids who signed up for it, so that'll be interesting to see. I can be a guest speaker and show them the "figure 8." haha sike!

Went to the bank, to cash my check. Did all that finance maintence and what not. Talked to kuya online bout the whole name change. Agh he wasnt going to talk to me until i changed the name back to the regular way. Thas why i had to do that whole declaration and what not. Agh, its too much work taking care of a kuya! theyre so many things you gotta do to keep them happy! But i guess you gotta do, wha you gotta do! haha

Work was aiight, it was kinda a busy day. I was relieved that my boss ddint talk to me bout the whole contract supevisor thing. On wed. it was a bit of an awkward moment cuz well last week i asked the clerk if i could be the contract supervisor for the sadies dance this fri. It was for westerns and i wanted to do it cuz i knew the skool and id know errone there, plus i wanted to get my boogie on. Ya know cuz its been forever since i went to a hs dance. haha So she told me yes, so on wed. i was confirming the hours for it. Then my boss overheard and he questioned it. Then he asked her how i was going to get paid and then my other boss came and didnt knwo anything bout it cuz it was something the clerk and i worked out. I guess she forgot, that the three of them came to an agreement, rec leaders cant do contract supervisor events. So i was worried that my main supervisor was going to get mad @ me cuz i didnt ask him if i could or talk to him bout it. But he never did talk to me bout it, so that was a relief! whew

I had a grip of kids in my chef's club today, some of those girls juss irritate me and i was wanna agh!! i gotta get back into the habit w/working w/large number of children again. See before, i was use it, then when i started my program i didnt have that many children. Now my program is really growing, getting new kids errday. I guess i juss gotta be patient w/them and take deep breaths. So we made yesterday, berry bagles and a rootbeer float. The bagels was fun, you cut a bagel, add cream cheese, then top off w/fruit. Then the rootbeer float is self explanatory. After we made it, we delievered it to the important people of the city. The city manager, adminstrative director, my supervisors, the city clerk. Gotta work the politics, ya heard!! Its great cuz the city manager knows my name and talks to me.

I ended up closing for work, the first time in a long time. My boss was called and informed that his grandma had a heart attack. Please pray for her and their family as well. Came home then ate a little bit of adobo chicken, then rushed over to SRE. Mm the other day, we had popeyes chicken and my mom bought cat fish and it was OOoh so good! They were shaped like stars and it had a little spice to it, which added flava! mmm it soudns good right now! wooo class went well, cuz we talked botu the gospel and how you approach the question of, "are you saved?" We talked bout faith and good works going hand in and hand.

It was funny in the beginning of the lesson we talked bout risks and i asked the kids to talk bout a time where they took a risk. Then i asked achie when was a time she took a risk. I wasnt paying attention at first cuz i was doing somethin in the front. Anyway, she talked bout the time when she rode w/his guy to the "goodbye, goodmen conference." She mentioned how he drove a black 2 door civic. How she took the risk driving w/the guy cuz he drives crazy. It finally hit me who she was talking bout later on! haha i felt retarted! haha then i said jokingly, "miss jenn, you know its a sin to exaggerate right?" haha she goes no im not exaggerating! haha ahh people juss dont understand my oh so "non-chalant" driving skills! hahaha

Went home to gather up some pics for the scrapbook nite. I didnt have time to print out some, so i ended up juss taking wha i had on my bulletin board. Good thing, we rescheduled it cuz to next week cuz it gives me time to print some out. Like use different ones from all the different events that took place. Its fun looking at pictures and juss recapturing that moment in time. I juss realized now i shoudl copy and paste this to like an email before i loose my whole entry. Which would lead to me getting pissed and irritated if that were to happen. Ahh there i pasted it on to notepad, that way i dont loose it. I had to paste it to an email too, in case i got one of those error messages and wha not. agh those things suck!

Played w/magic mic @ the soratorios for while. It was coo, jennif and i did a couple of duets on there. Like crusin and endless love and i got to sing some songs i wanted to try. After uprm minus two, went over to molca salsa to eat. This time we didnt seee ko-re-ans all dressed up talking bout their winnings w/pyramid schemes. El huego and kuya made up a new dumb prayer as a piggy back off of my, grace before meals prayer. It goes like, "come lord jesus be our guest, come lord jesus i love _____." then they made another one too, that had the same exact beginning except the ending goes, "i hope and pray that i ____ will kiss me one day." Something like that, its gay! haha i cant believe those two. Then i ended up gagging and throwing up cuz el huego mentioned something sick! i dont know if i can eat molca salsa anymore, it gets to be too salty for me. Maybe its cuz i had it for two days in a row.

OH! so i was put into this awkward moment yesterday. I was at work, and i get this phone call from out of the blue. IT was #32 from the football them, calling me. He called me twice, so when i finally called him back after i took the kids outside. He was like "hey wassup, ja$on, its #32, dua, from the football team." i said, "oh hey wassup..." Dua, went on explaining to me how he's in some kind of financial situation right now. That he needed $$ to get back to skool and he needed a co signer for something. I was caught off guard and well good thing my kids were acting up at the time, so i told him i had to call him back. Agh, i dont like it when youre tying to talk to someone and speak so soft you cant hear them! its like speak up kid, i cant hurr ya! So i had to call him back cuz i didnt know what to say. In the back of my mind, i knew i was going to say no already. The hard part was saying it to him in a loving way. Besides that i thought id get more info. from on wah he needed the $$ for when id call him back.

I called my political advisor who was in midway city at the time. I told him were gonna live there then i said no cuz theres nothing there in midway city. Then he told me yes were gonna live in midway city cuz he makes the rules. haha whatta crazy day! I explained to him my little awkward situation and i asked him wha to i tell him. He give me advice on wah to say to him and how to say it. Well before him i called jeanne, but she dindt pick up. By the time i was done talkign to my political advisor, she called me. So i told her wha happened and i guess he called her too, but she didnt pick up cuz she didnt know whos # it was. She told me #32 told her on tues. that he makes a lot of $$ and wha not. I then learned he was trying to get her into one of those pyramid schemes.

So i called him back and i told him due to my own financial instability i cannot co sign for him. Though i'll pray that he finds someoen to help him out. I asked how come he doesnt ask his parents and he told me he didnt want them to know about it. Later el huego put two and two together which makes four and said #32 needed the loan amount of $2500(though #32 explained he was going to use $1500 of it and return the rest of it.) #32 needed the money to get into the pyramid business, so he can attempt to make $$. I dont know for sure if thas the reason why but im going to assume thas why.
its like one of those scooby doo mysteries that you gotta try and solve. hahah

well i think im going to end it hurr, im starving like marvin! Besides that i need to get ready for the day still. So until next time, stay healthy, oh wait you know if i were to co sign for it, id be like signing my life away! sheessh wha happens if the guy quits going to prayer meeting or what not. I was weirded out by him calling me and asking me for that. i didnt give my cell phone # for those reasons! ha geez i wouldnt even ask kuya to co sign a loan for me! oh well, whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote. The guy is still young and perhaps we was acting on impulse. oh btw hey kuya we should be in that video, "juss the two of us." haha you know the will smith song! hahahah thas funny

"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, Just the two of us, Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
Just the two of us, you and I..." im done, im out God bless!

A True Friend Is...
someone who knows when you are upset.
someone who won't let you get away without talking about it.
someone who will risk their life to make sure you don't up and die on them.
someone who you can call up at 10:30 at night no matter how small your problem.
someone who instead of going with the "big group" will go with you when you feel bad.
someone who can just let you be when you need time alone.
someone who goes out of their way to make sure you're happy.
someone who always has a shoulder for you to cry on if need be.
someone who if you do cry on their shoulder won't go and tell the world.
someone who puts your happiness equal to theirs and not less than theirs

PRAYER REQUEST: Please pray for one of my kid's mom, she's waiting for her test results hoping that whatever she has isnt cancer. Thanks!

Wow today was a long entry

"Cant explain why your love makes me real..."im done, im out God bless!