"To discover your pupose in life, you must turn to God's word, not the world's wisdom..."
Truly this so far has got to be the most frutiful lenten season for me. I've learned so much these past couple months of lent in regards to suffering, forgiveness, humility...etc. I mean yes although these are lessons ive heard over and over again, its still comes to somethng as a blessing to hurr it all over again. To think lent is almost over, in juss wha 4 weeks? Whoa thurr! 40 days i guess isnt that long after all...Tuesday's gospel was the infamous lesson on uncondtional forgiveness and love. One whurr peter asks Jesus how many times must he forgive someone who has hurt them. JEsus said, not 7 times but seventy-seven times.
Fr. paul is funny, he started off his homily with, 'if its any consolation to you guys, i forgive cuz i want to go to heaven.' I've gone through two different sets of forgiveness trials. One whurr i had to let go of a hurt and forgive. Second, when the tables whurr turned and i wanted to be forgiven. Though the second incident came before the first incident. Both trials were a huge burden on my back. I wont explain the incident whurr i had to forgive, ill juss say it was very hard. I had a extremely difficult time letting of go and to forgive uncondtionally. AS much as i wanted to and as much as i had thought id forgiven already, i knew deep inside i was holding on still. Though God's healing of time, i was able to let go of the grudge and learn to truly forgive.
I know first hand wha its like to be on the receiving end. Meaning the end whurr you seek forgiveness. During that trial, God tested my patience and tested my love for him. He took away somethings that were really important to me. With a snap of a finger my world was turned upside down. Yet i understand why He did this. Each nite as i prayed i asked why? why'd he let his happen? Now i know and i thank him for it. It was an lesson we all had to learn on forgiveness. He took away things that meant a lot to me so i can focus on him. So i can put my hands in his hands and say, 'I trust you with all of my hurrt God.'
All of us know forgivenss doesnt come easy, and im sure weve all experience in a difficult time whurr we were tested. Fr. paul said that 'Asked to always forgive, not so easy... not yet impossible. when someone hurts us we need to analyze wha the person is going through? Why is the person reacting in such manner. Often times the person brings their own personal baggage into the situation. First thing to do is to leave it all into the hands of the Lord. Hmm kinda like liwanag's spirit rally theme, 'In the Palm of His Hands.' For those whove seen the passion, think back to the scoruging in the courtyard. That blood spilling, that blood thas stained all over the floor is mercy. That's Jesus forgiving us for all that we've done, cuz Jesus is merciful. So as catholic-christians were invited to be merciful to those who hurt us.
Father said, the best thing to do is remain silent. Jesus was silent and had nothing to say. No one will be believe the sacrafice Jesus made for us if we are constantly arguing, fighting w/one another. If were in it to win the battles, are we living out Christianity? What was real powerful is when fr. said something from wha gandhi once said. 'I would be christian, but no one seems to listen to what their master says.' Whoa thurr, meaning how can people see the face of Jesus through us if all we do is fight? Fr. said, someone once said, 'the problem with christianity is no one bothers to live it.' Ahh...The point is we are called to love until it hurts. Juss as blessed Teresa of calcutta once said, "To be true love, love has to hurt...Jesus said, 'Love one another as I have loved you.' He loved until it hurt."
So i was reading this really cool 'Life teen' email that i get weekly. The verse they chose to talk bout came from Romans 8:18, "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed for us." Okay so i know ive already talked bout suffering in a previous entry, but as i read this i was like whoa so true. Bible geek discussed how when we suffer sometimes we feel like we cant take the pain anymore. I guess maybe thas wha happens when people want to committ suicide, they feel as if they cant handle the pain.
Bible geek gave the analogy of the golden gate bridge in frisco. I didnt even know the darn thing was built in 1938 under FDR. I guess not too long after it's grand opening, a 75 mile wind came rushing through. Now this bridge was supposedly built to handle such incidents liek the wind. WEll it ended up bending the bridge over in twelve in and a half feet out of alignment, but the structure of the bridge was held together. Many people were stunned by wha had happened and some even wondered why it didnt fall apart. The engineer knew that this bridge, would be challenged by unforseen elements. His job in creating the strucute was to make sure it would not break.
Coincidently, thas the same way God is w/us. We are built to withstand 'stroms' and 'winds.' Even the ones that seem soo strong that you feel like youre gonna get knocked down. Yet whie going through all this suffering, you may think, 'agh, i really dont know how much more i can go through of this...' Great thing is, GOd knows wha we can and cant handle. Though God built us to withstand the storms of life, the trials and tribulations. Point is we dont really believe that we're strong enough to handle all this. We're right though, we're not strong enough, but through His spirit dwelling in us, his love given to us, were a lot stronger then we think we are.
Some of us forget that God knows whas going on in our lives. Sometimes we swurr though, he doesnt have a clue cuz we keep suffering. THough God really knows all the suffering were going through. God wont give you anymore suffering then wha He thinks you can handle. He wont let the storms of life, the trials, the crosses we have get to you. He doesnt want you to break, so call on Him. Were reminded though that sufferings and trials in this life are NOTHING compared the glory and joy that God has in store for those who trust in Him and in His promise. Christ is the bridge between hurr and eternity. We were formed and molded into His image one that might get 'misaligned' from tiem to time by the empty promises of this world, but God will not allow you to fall apart.
Anyway, i woke up feelin real tired from studying late the nite before. As i was walking up the sturrs to class ha i felt i was dragging myself. Then i heard real loud, 'jfish!' as i looked up i saw arisa coming down the sturrs. She pretty much woke me up after that. Did the whole skool thing, this guy got the wrong scantrons for class. How sad, so my classmate and i gave him one of our owns. Thas why its always good to curry extra scantrons for those who dont have any. I always try to curry extra scantrons, cuz thurrs always someone bound to need one. Neeeeeeyyyyyoooooow!
Work was pretty cool, i came in got stuff ready for the apt. complex and i left. The manager forgot to keep the dang gate open for me! agh! which is really werid, this is the first time since ive been thurr that the gate wasnt open. Normally, the gate is already open by the time i get thurr. ITs one of those gates whurr you gotta have the remote to get in and out. So when it came ot get out, i had to wait for someone to buzz me out. agh! Anyway as i was making arts and crafts w/the kids, i started to get real sleepy. We were coloring st. patrick's day stuff and i was kinda closing my eyes off and on. Whoa thurr! So i asked one of the little girls to go get her jump rope. She comes back w/her jump rope and that was my energy booster. I started jump ropping and i was wide awake after that. I love jump roping its so much fun!
Came home ate dinner, then ran an in errand in cerritos. Had to go pay for the celly bill. I dont like mailing it, so i go pay it in person by debit currd at the store. Its a lot more convient that way. Did that then i was talking to julie on the way to the soratorios. Got thurr and we had our 1st Purpose Driven Life bible study. We read 'popcurrn' style! haha remember that when you were a kid? YOu start reading a paragraph then you popcurrn or 'choose' someone else to read next. That game always showed favortism cuz i always picked the fast readers, so we can done w/it. Then the discussion was really fruitful. It's been a while we've shurred intimately bout our paths, what helps and wha doesnt. I'm excited to keep this going!
"I want to praise you Lord, much more than i do..."im done, im out God bless!
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