Cuz Making Out is hard to do...

"Only he will receive, will find, and will enter who perseveres in asking, seeking and knocking..."

So there's been all this talk and controversy over making out. Within the past week, I've had numerous convos w/people bout this topic. Others fail to realize that such an act as making out is a mortal sin. Whurr thurr whurr other people, who tried to find some loop hole/justification to the sin. Then trying to answer all these 'wha if' questions on how making out can be so bad. I decided to do a little research on my own. Praise God for the internet and some good catholic sites. I came across this parish called sPx(st. pius X in asia haha) a whole article on kissing. Question and answers, so hurr it goes...hopefully this clurrs up a lot of hmm possible grey area on this hot topic! This is a long one, so be prepared!

Is kissing sinful?

This is a question we have often been asked during our years of pleasant association with young people. Here we merely give a concise summary on the subject of kissing; later we shall elaborate on the subject.

We distinguish between kissing and kissing. Rather, let us say that there are four categories of kisses:

1. Kisses that are merely a sacred and lovely symbol used to express deep and beautiful emotion and are not, of course, sinful; the mutual kisses of mother and child; the mutual kisses of husband and wife; the kisses imprinted on a sacred object, such as the Bible, the crucifix, the ring of a bishop, the relic of a saint, the altar, the hand of a priest, etc.; Kisses imprinted on some dear object, such as the flag of one’s country, the soil of one’s native land, the hand of a benefactor, etc., etc.

2. Non-passionate kisses — that is, those which are of such a nature as not to arouse the passions of a normal person — are not sinful in themselves, though they may easily prepare the way for passionate kisses, especially when indulged in by young persons of the opposite sex. In such kisses real affection is felt but there is normally no exciting of the passions. A kiss of this type is not sinful at all, even if it be exchanged between a young lady and her gentleman friend. The engaged, in order to foster their mutual love, may make use of the non-passionate kiss and embrace; but they must remember that continual hugging and kissing, even of the non-passionate type, may readily bring on serious temptations, and so should be avoided.

3. Kissing for the thrill of it, because of the excitement (non-venereal) produced by "an increase of pulse and respiration which causes a feeling of exhilaration" is not in itself sinful, if there is no reaction of the organs of generation; but such kisses, in certain circumstances, easily prove a source of danger because they prepare the way for arousing the passions. Kissing in a spirit of mischievousness, a stolen kiss, for instance, or forcing a kiss on a girl who resists, or kissing just because of the novelty of the act, is hardly a sin against the sixth commandment, but may offend against the virtue of charity.

4. Passionate kissing, just because intense or passionate, stirs up venereal pleasure and is forbidden under pain of serious sin. Kisses not at first passionate, ordinarily become so if prolonged for some time, so that really prolonged kissing is classified as passionate. In short, all kissing to arouse venereal pleasure is gravely sinful because of the intention. There is no slightest doubt in the mind of any decent man or woman that kissing between unmarried people becomes sinful when passion takes over. Any normal person is fully aware that under certain circumstances passion was meant by nature to take over. The kiss was by God and nature intended to make men and women grow passionately excited. The kiss is under those conditions the normal and natural prelude to physical union. We cannot say in general, then, that kissing is sinful or not sinful. We must take each case as it is.

When a young man is keeping company with a girl with the intention of marriage does he do wrong in kissing her? Is it a mortal sin to kiss in a passionate way when keeping company? When is a kiss a sin and when is it not?

Lovers who are engaged to be married may exchange respectable marks of affection and love, in a moderate degree. A modest kiss is one such mark of affection. But it must remain modest, and must not become willfully passionate and sensual and, hence, grievously sinful. It will easily become thus sinful, if repeated often at the same meeting. One friendly and pure goodnight kiss is not dangerous for engaged couples. But it oughte acbe sufficient. The passionate and lingering kiss, or the so-called soul kiss between lovers, is a mortal sin, because it offers the occasion and inducement to grievous sensual emotions and gratifications.

Relative to the question as to when kissing is sinful and when it is not, it may, in general, be said that whatever conduct exposes you or your partner to the proximate danger of yielding to impurity in thought, desire, feeling, or action is a mortal sin. And if you say that passionate kisses do not involve this danger for you or your companion, you are grossly deceiving yourself. Such an assertion makes one think of a dulled conscience and a blinded soul. Incipient or advanced lovers who are not yet engaged to be married should not at all indulge in kissing and similar demonstrations of intimate and ardent love since their relations are not close enough to warrant it. If they embark at so early a stage upon these amorous practices, there is every danger that they will proceed from what appears innocent and modest to what they know is not, and the magnitude of the harm and disaster that will ensue to both parties will probably outrun all their calculations.

We believe that the above gives principles that will enable you to act rightly in all circumstances that may arise. We add, however, as a serious warning, that, though there may be some who have no evil thoughts or desires whatsoever in kissing and petting, they may be the occasion of gross sins of immoral thoughts, desires, and emotions to their partners. Remember this safe and simple rule: "Never do anything, when the two of you are alone, which you would be ashamed to do in the presence of your parents; or which you would be ashamed to reveal to your parents."

Is it a sin to give a boy friend a good night kiss after you have spent a pleasant evening together?

That depends upon many things. If it is a pure, modest, friendly, passing kiss and does not give rise in either party to impure thoughts, desires, or feelings that are consented to, it is not a sin. But those who are not yet engaged to be married should not indulge at all in kissing or in similar demonstrations of intimate love. Don’t, don’t! It is dangerous. Protect yourself and the young man you love by refraining from all undue familiarities. If not sinful now, it may soon become so and lead to harm and disaster that will outrun all your calculations. Don’t! A young man with the proper sense of virtue and honour will always respect his friend’s concern for her modesty and innocence as manifested in the observance of this important "Don’t!" He will love her all the more for it. He will look upon her declining even "a mere kiss" as a convincing sign of her great shyness and fear of being gradually beguiled into the loss of what she considers — and what he also considers — her greatest treasure. Be sure of this: a girl who is easy and ready to grant unmaidenly privileges to a young man loses just that much of his respect and rightly so. Such a young man will just naturally conclude that she is ready to lend her lips to anybody who comes along — and has doubtless already done so. No good Catholic gentleman wants such a girl.

"What about kissing?

"All right, what about it? We may as well meet this ever-pressing question right off.

"Instead of ‘ganging up’ with their own kind during the initial moments of a party, why don’t boys and girls go right to it and kiss? If there is no harm in a kiss why be ‘bashful about coming forward? Why not kiss under a brilliantly lighted chandelier instead of out in the moonlight behind the honeysuckle vine? Why not?

"A girl would kiss her father before a room full of people. Why not a boy?

"Can it be because maybe there is harm in a kiss?

"Of course, kissing dad is old stuff. Kissing a boy is definitely a kiss of another colour — usually quite red. Why?

"Because there is as much potential harm in kissing a boy as there is potential harm in human nature. How bad can you be? Do you know? True, dad is an old hand at the business. He has been kissing mother for years: but that’s the point it is mother whom he has kissed. There was a first kiss between mother and dad, probably the kiss which decided dad to give mother his name, his heart, and his life.

"As far as the girl is concerned, in truth, there may be little harm in a kiss because usually a girl is less tempted than a boy. But a kiss that leaves her unmoved may be a mortal sin for him, and a portion of the guilt of that mortal sin will be hers because she permitted the kiss. None of the guilt is hers if the boy without the least encouragement has taken the kiss by force, but a decent boy seldom does this.

Therefore the degree of ‘harm’ in a kiss must be measured by the circumstance - under the chandelier or behind the honeysuckle vine. As Father Furfey points out in his book, "This Way to Heaven," a kiss ‘may be anything from a beautiful act of supernatural charity to a mortal sin of impurity.’ It is questionable if a kiss delivered behind the honeysuckle vine is likely to be a ‘beautiful act of supernatural charity’.

"God has endowed our sense of touch with certain pleasant reactions. Why? So that within the bonds of matrimony, a man and a woman will unite, ‘two in one flesh’ for the procreation of children. Within the bonds of matrimony a kiss, a caress are essential preliminaries to this complete union of man and wife. Outside the bonds of matrimony a kiss, a caress are just as appealing to the senses, but in this circumstance physical union is a mortal sin."

And in the concluding chapter of this excellent book the gifted author has these practical remarks:

"When I suggest you refuse advances in the interest of being popular and sought after by the right kind of boys, I am remembering my ‘dates.’ Memory insists it is true that if you are ‘hard to get’ you will be sought by the kind of boys you want to know. Of all the young men who ‘dated’ me only one kissed me of my own free will. That one I married.

"If and when the others took a kiss contrary to my will — boys will do that - they had dated me for the last time. It was much more pleasant to spend an evening at home with my mother or with a good book than spend hours on a ‘date’ with a boy who refused to understand that ‘No’ meant ‘No!’ Memory serves me well on this point.

"Nor did I stand by this moral principle just because these words are found in the dictionary. Far from it. These were guns which mother said were worth defending and I believed she knew what she was talking about. Who could know better than mother about such things?

"Every age has its superficialities, but fundamentally I do not believe the girls of today are any different from the girls of my teen days. Human nature does not change, nor do the divine and natural moral laws change from age to age."

Remember that a kiss is a sacred symbol, a sign of love that must not be carelessly or casually granted to chance companions and casual acquaintances. A kiss may be the occasion of physical excitement. It usually arouses passions and excites appetites that are connected with sex; when it does this and the pleasure is deliberately sought and consented to, the kiss becomes not merely a vulgar thing, but a positive sin.

Side note: I was having this convo. w/one of my kids bout making out, explaning why its such a mortal sin etc. Anyway, after I share w/him all this info. that I found telling why its such a big deal, he tells me this...
PiNoyBallA63: dont worry jason cuz now wen im sinning there youll be in the back of my head saying sinner sinner sinner
PiNoyBallA63: hahahhahahahahhahahahahahah

There you have it...hopefully this clurrs things up now.

"I'll take you to the candy shop..."im done, im out God bless!