happy 5 month annifersay blog! haha weve been through a lot these past 5 months...wow look how much youve grown!

"You're born and you die, and you make a lot of mistakes in between."

ah my head hurts, ive got a headache right and i should actually go to sleep cuz i got work early. Oh well i need to blog before i sleep. So i had real negative entry last nite, we all have our ups and downs, well as you read that was one of my downs. Though tonite i felt bettter, i was able to let go of ugly, dark negative feelings and im trying to learn juss to be love. By being love, you cannot go wrong. I received some inspiring messages tonite and the prohecies from prayer meeting really pertained to me. Through the dark stroms comes a new day, with that comes a rainbow. THough the sunflower that tita beyonce gave me has died, i cannot let the sunflower inside of me die w/it. Last nite i gave into what the devil wanted and at that point i didnt care. I learned all i can do is be love...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered. it does not brood over injury. it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth. Its bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

So i was listening to that son, 'hold on to Jesus' in class tonite. As i was listening it made me think back to elijiahs;s birfday partay. When jl and fred were singing that song in dedication to him. This might sound funny, but it reminded me of the movie sleepy beauty. ha yeah i know great analogy, juss listen though. hurr me out for a min. and see my reasoning. Well for those of you who remember the movie, the party whurr i guess it was kinda like baby auroa's baptism. Errone in the whole kingdom were there to see the new princess. They brought gfits to wish her the best in life. She had 3 fairies bless her w/a special something something. Thas how i felt the song represented. The song was their special blessing to their godchild.

Sre was good tonite, it was nice seeing those kids again after not seeing them for forever long. They make me laff and smile at the same time. Despite the fact they talk A LOT which bothers me, but i do see them growing in their faith. To me thas the biggest reward out of teaching, is watching them grow. God has planted the seed in them last year, and now its starting to sprout. By the time they make their confirmation in like 10 years, itll be a bootiful flower. haha jk not ten years, more less 2 years. I know theyre growing by juss how they shed light on certain issues. How they've taken more interest in knowing and understanding their faith this year. I find teaching them fun cuz i grow along wif them. The more and more i learn bout my faith, i shed it on to them.

We talked bout the divine mercy today and how important of a feast day it is. I taught them how to pray the chaplet of divine mercy. One of the kids asked me what happens if you pray the rosary errday. I told him Mama Mary gives him special blessings to those who pray the rosary. He got excited and said he was going to pray it errday now. That and the chaplet of the divine mercy. Another kid told me someone told him that we pray to Mama Mary. He responded back to that person that we dont pray to her, we dont worship her, but we ask her to lift up our prayers. Then the person snapped back and said why go through that extra step when you can go straight to God himself. I told him Mama Mary;s interecession was asked for during the wedding feast of cana. After i gave him scripture to use, my student was excited and said 'yess imma tell that now.'

We talked about also tonite, holding on to you faith. Standing strong and loving the Lord w/a full puso. I told them that we all go through trials, and its not the easiest thing to do. I explained to them, i said im going through my own right now. Then one of the kids asked, what happened, (typical kids always wanting to know haha) i briefly suimmarized. After he told me, okay i'll pray for you so you can get through your struggle. I had to tell them that the devil never sleeps and will rest at nothing to capture their soul. Then i read to them ephesians 6:10-18 and explained what that all meant. Hopefully they got something out of it. At the end of class during closing prayer, the kid who told me he would pray for me, added me to the intentions at the end. It was a great feeling, that made me feel really good. The kids i have are blessings in my life, God has put them into my life for me to help them grow in their faith.

Went to fridays after prayer meeting, that was chill. I learned something interesting bout the mexican kuya tonite. haha For those of you who were durr and hurrd at the end as we were walking out, its funny. haha Then i learned something interesting bout wearing a certain clothing object. I never really knew that could occur by wearing that article of clothing. haha I guess i learned something new today, errday is something new to learn. I got ann's numba! woOO thas coo and i have another blog link to add to my collection of links. Antonio told pops, the mexican and i a corny yet gross pick up line. haha Pops made a corny one up too bout angel and his kids. i dont remember exaclty how it went.

I was watching bet this morning, the 106 and park. ANyway, they were showing ol skool songs, and that song 'i cant stand the rain' and 'only you remix,' bof considered ol skool songs! oh man thas crazy, i remember bof of those songs. Anyway, thas it for now, until next time, oh i tried to do the boom chicka boom boom w/my kids, they felt it was too hard. haha oh well it was fun trying, althoguh when were were doing it, it was funny cuz i looked around in the circle and saw errone who was there that nite dancing. hahaha

"Hold on to Jesus, He's holding on to you..." im done, im out God bless!

hate, hate, hate, anger, frustration and resentment the theme for tonite. You win some and you loose some...great! i feel like a dead sunflower that hasnt been given any water or sunlight.

"What ya'll wanna do don't you know we always coming through me and my crew let me hear you say fire it up..."im done im out one!!!!!

"Being willing to suffer often brings great rewards..."

okay im attempting to redo my thoughts from last nite. I know i wont get errthang i had said, but hopefully i can get most of it. Anyway, jaymee had told me last week that sometimes when we get attack, it means our spirituality is about to rise. For the past couple weeks ive been getting numerous attacks, im sure like many other people in core. Never had i felt all at one time, so many different mix of feelings, like anger, sadness, frustration, impatience, anxiety etc. Of course it sucked, but i finally realized on sat. why im probably getting attacked so much. The attacks were ceased up until early early sat. morning. Later on that day it was making sense what jaymee had said earlier that week.

Though its hard to suffer like this, the greatest reward in the end is getting through it. To me each attack that we suffer is an experience. An experience to grow in holiness to grow stronger in our faith. To grow stronger in our commitment to the Lord. Maybe errthang im saying isnt making sense, i dont know. For us, the greatest reward in Christ;s suffering is our life. Each time we go through suffering its, God telling us to persevere throught it. Pushing to fight off the demons and the attacks of the evil one. I know these are not the end of the attacks, though i know next time it happens, im going to want to fight even 10x stronger than last time. The devil is a strong foe and will stop at nothing till he gets what he wants. OUr spirits are stronger and if we continue to push and fight agaisnt the devils evils, he will fall down as he does always.

THis weekend was an intereresting one, many different unexpected things took place. I learn valuable lessons through this weekend. Also there are plenty of things i need to work on within myself. I dont think ive gotten attacked so hard until this weekend. The attacks were getting so bad that i was telling myself, that i didnt feel like i was fit to serve the community anymore. I wasnt beign a leader to the community and it would be better to step down. Man it was to the point where i was wishing something bad happen to me. Though i know those were the devils words and not my own. I realized i must stand strong and not bite into that bait. YEs, i will fall and there will be plenty of other times where i feel stuck, but as phil 4:13 says, 'i can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.' ITs all about trusting and depending on Him.

Something i realized to over the weekend. That often i want to grow up faster, though i know i still have a lot of growing up to do and learning. Its like when your younger sibiling tries to copy errthang you do cuz they want to be the same w/you. Which is hard on bof parties. For the younger one understanding that we cant be the same. But yet understand you can still give something back to the older one. As for the older one, understanding that yeah he's younger then me. His mentality may not be the same as mine. He might not see the things i do cuz i am older. THough juss as the younger sibling can give back, so can the older one. Its not a authority thing, wehre cuz i am older i am know more. Its gotta be a 50/50 relationship, bof giving something ot each other.

So sat. was elijiah;s birfday party at crescent. I got there at around 2pm, i wanted to go earlier that way id get close parking. I still got good parking though so it was cool. It was good times good times we played a lot of fun games. Like the boom chicka boom boom boom boom, ha atche and i cant seem to lead it. haha its coo i dont mind being @ the end of the line. I think thas a game i can attempt to play maybe w/the kids @ work someday. Its fun seeing errone ni the circle juss doing all kinds of different things. The girls were d0pe playing that game. Especially lyn² prayer buddy and boss lady. Jumbo was d0pe too! haha

Then we played this mafia game using cards. Its hard to start it cuz theres things you gotta remember. THough once you get the hang of it, it get pretty funny. I think through this game you see the beauty in each other. haha after going around and staring at each others eyes. 'I get lost in your eyes...' hahah i can still hurr people saying, 'im dead' or 'im alive now.' hahaha I can still hur that crazy guy jumbo saying, 'where the hell is the doctor?' or 'Where is the popo at? he;s not doing his job! catch the dang killer!' hahahaha oh man that game is hillarious.

The differetn card games that we learned too that day! The puso attack was d0pe! We got all intense and into playing the games. I nevr learned so many different card games all in one day. Jumbo is hiallious to play abny kind of game with. He makes it exciting and teaches you nwe things too. Or tryign to play 'spoons' w/pennies instead. Or that name/color game where you gotta say the person's color or name of the person who matches your card. haha thas funny cuz you start of speechless or stuttering like, 'umm umm blue!!!' haha there was that one where you play w/partners. That one was more of skill game and a little bit difficult trying to giev your partner a signal. haha good times, good times!

YOu know the two additions to our community, sfc guys are d0pe. They bring so much to our community, i think one things they bring out is liveliness. THey show us new things, and get us all excited. Actually i dont consider them sfc guys now, but more less sh guys now. Its coo cuz they bof fit in so well and get along w/errone so well also. Praise God for a community that only continues to grow and to serve more and more each day. Maybe thas why most of core is getting attacked so much. The devil sees how much we as a whole are growing and to prevent it he starts by trying to tear up relationships.

I finally came up w/a nickname for jumbo. From now on he will be called ju ju bees like those candies! hahaha so jumbs if youre reading this, that is your new nickname. Ha ju ju bees is one funny guy, always happy. I see God through him. Like me, he's like a sunflower himself blooming w/happiness. Whenever youre with the guy you cant help but only to laff. THas what he does he brings happiness to our group. The guy has so many different talents, his swing dancing not to mention his creative jokes! haha even the tagalog ones that i dont understand. haah Him and the mexican are both strong soliders for Christ.

Well i guess you cant talk bout one w/o talking bout the other. The mexican man, haha i remember seeing him and saying to myself, 'so he isnt mexican after all!' This brother is tight cuz he gets along w/errone and he makes an effort to talk to errone. He's d0pe cuz of all the wisdom he carries, on errthang. I really admired him on sat. for making the effort to bring errone together for fellowship. Its coo cuz it seems like from the moment he started in our group, he seemed already comfortable. Maybe thas cuz he knew the lopezs already. He's like one of those guys who you can talk to. ITs great how i feel comfortable myself joking around w/him and not worrying if he'll get mad. PRaise God for the diversity in our group, now that we have a mexican! hahahaha

Not only do i have wonderful brothers to serve God with, but some groovy sisters too.
I love my prayer buddy! shes the bestest prayer buddy i could ever have. What do i say bout her? man she's cute, atheltic, strong, smart and cute too! haha She's alaways available for me to talk to and even if its juss asking her to pray for me. We joke around w/each other all the time and juss another person who you can rely on for help. Boss lady is juss all around awesome, she shows me God's love. This sista is helps me out w/a lot of different life issues. She also shows me where to get good boba! woOo mmm! Jovie or sunshine, haha her style is one of a kind. She taught me how to do the pony! haha jennevee or babyveee my prom prom prom buddY or my fake gf(inside joke she knows what i mean.) I love chillin w/her cuz she always makes me laff and juss helps me out whenever i talk to her.

Achie, man she always finds a way to force out of me whas wrong. Shes my right hand woman on thurs. nites. Achie guides me and juss helps give me direction. Atche woo one thing i can say is always, always listen to her when she gives you advice. I give her mad props for juss being able to handle so many difficult things at one time. It takes a true leader to stand up when it seems like errthang else be falling down. Tita beyonce shes helps me in soo many ways. Juss spiritually, especially this weekend, always checking up on me and juss helping me to trust in God more. Jaymee is funny, she helps me w/things i need to do like a mom does! hahaI guess shes like my Mom in Christ. haha i dont know if there is such thing, but oh well ill make it up then. haha Jennif is another one of them girls whos got the moves. i told her that when i see her that she needs to see the boom chicka boom boom boom game. Jennif is a wonderful person to talk bout almost anything. She cracks me up though a lot.

Rtb #2, well theres that saying bout how happiness radiates to other people. I think thas what she does, radiates her happines to the people who need it. HA when i see her, it reminds me of the song caramel. 5'5 w/brown eyes, smile like sunrise. hahaha man i feel like im writing some kind of dedication at the back of a yearbook or something. ANyway, my coworker is juss totally d0pe! Shes got all the dance moves, in fact she should have her own dance video. ONe of those whhere you learn how to dance. It could be like 'all you need to know bout dancing w/roselynn. haha forreal i wanna take her polynesian dancing class to do incorporate my figure 8 and box step together! haha jeanne or as i like to say, john ha my ditching buddy. Another wonderful sister who i love joking around with. i like to stalk her too! hahah jk

ha reirich juss told me that girl rhea from SOl thought i was him! hahah oh man oh man thas funny. Well there you have it, the women of sh our own justice league. I hope i didnt forget anyone, if i did my bad. Maybe in my text entry, ill write bout the superheros of Sh. Wow this entry is long! haha well hopefully you enjoyed it, till next time keep hittn up the tagboard! it was funny on sat. lala called me hijo. hahahaha

"Ill give you the moon at night, ill give you the stars to light your eyes, ill give you the sun to make just one more dawn so another day may come. Ill give you my heart and soul, ill be there to catch you when you fall. When you ask me what i'd give to you, girl i'd give it all..." im done, im out God bless!

"Being willing to suffer often brings great rewards..."

man my whole entry got erased again!!!!! i pushed ctrl a to highlight errthang then to copy, but then i pushed v instead of c and erased it! agH! why oh why... well im not going to attempt to even retype what i thought so whatever.

"Do not be suprised that you fall; everyday; do not give up, but stand your ground courageously. And surely the angel who guards you will honor your patience..."

Some more ranDUMB thoughts~

Ive learn this past week that sometimes you gotta 'accept' the 'unacceptable.' Which isnt the easiest thing for me to do. I dwell on the past a lot, thinking there are times when time would be the same. Yet i know somethings happen for a reason and i must accept the change. I look to the future a lot, worrying still, what's going to happen next? Where is this road going to lead me? I depend on other people a lot and when i end up being alone, i cant seem to handle it. God has been teaching me to fully depend on him and on him only.
Ive lost a lot of things in my life, people, relationships w/people, things and other such. Although it sucks a lot, and it hurts a lot i can only move on w/hope.

Sometimes i do things that i cannot explain, i do things impulsively w/o thinking of the consquences it might bring. Only during those times, do i worry bout the present and not look to the future. Whatever i loose or may loose, i cannot go back to change the past. I must be patient and looking foward to better and new beginning.
People hate others for their actions and the consquences both parties have to face. I gotta have faith within time things could change. I dont know exactly what my point is, or what am i saying. We all make mistakes, we are human, so it would be wrong to be held accountable for the mistakes weve made and the mistakes we continue to do.

All i can do is have faith that God will bring us all better days, hope that this isnt the end of certain things, but only move on w/love. I only pray that things dont turn out the way i envision them to be. The way ive been thinking situations might be in the end. ahh my heart is filled w/anxiety, Jesus i trust in you, Jesus i trust in you, Jesus i trust in you...

"Tell me what am I to do?" im done, im ouT God bless!

"if sorrow makes us shed tears, faith in God's promises makes us dry them..." -St. Augustine

Unexpected things happened to me today, but i praise God for it though.

Thanks boss lady for the chill time, youre the bestest boss lady & Tita beyonce thanks for the sunflowers, it really made my day. Ü We've got a job to do...love ya guys!

And to my dawgs...haha whoa oh what a nite! man where would my life be w/you guys to help make it exciting. haha fab five for life yo and thas forreal aint no one tearin us apart!

i feel like im writing my yearbook 'shoutout' or something hahaha yall remember those days...

"And all that i am, and all that i do, i live for you..."im done, im ouT God bless!

"Faith sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."

Okay, so i gotta be honest, my blogs i guess havent been the happiest. And i gotta admit too i havent been the happiest as usually am. Majority of you people know why. THough i realized that i cant focus one particular thing and let it take over me. I need to be 're bloom' and become the sunflower i once was. I know sounds gay sunflower, but thas what tita beyonce said i was. So starting today, a brand new one imma do my best to be a ray of light. To realize, what blessed mother theresa once said, bout loving till it hurts makes lots of sense.

Anyway, mad props going out to mizike for posting my wonderful art work on my blog. I made this last nite, i got this idea @ work yesterday. For some reason it juss popped in my head. Well for those hwo know me well enuff, they know i got nicknames for errone. I kinda put this picture together from the many nicknames ive given people. Like you have moms(jaymee), pops(mo rice), kuya(robby) so how does kuya have mario lopezs face and a different body. I always told him he had the face of mario lopez cuz of his dimples. That was confirmed too last week, when some lady @ the mall told him the same thing. On top of that, now that hes oh so buff, i always said ot him he had the body of tyson beckford.

As for tita beyonce, well errone calls her banne, i expaneded and added beyonce. Next is the mexican, well why is he called the mexican? Before i met mike gonzales in person, errtime i heard his name i thought was mexican. Hence the last name 'gonzales.' Then when i finally met him a couple weeks ago, i realized whoa this guy is filipino and all this time ive been wrong. haha I use the head of jay hernandez cuz jay hernandez is mexican. Then we have el juego which is jay, which means 'the game in spanish.' Above that is jeanne, or what i like to call jon. She wanted me to put jfk jrs. head cuz she think hes hot. Strider is fred of course cuz strider best represents the character fred relates to. Then mizike added me on durr, doug kim. LAstly, we got jl w/the face of jessican alba cuz errone thinks she looks like her. haha

hmm the day was pretty interesting not too much went on though. It was good, i went to the blessed sacrament this morning for adoration. ahhh This past week i dont think ive gone to the blessed sacrament as much as i have. Which is tight, cuz who woudlnt want to stay at the blessed sacrament and chill there. I ended up coming back later on before going to the velascos. Ran into mizike, lyn² & leilani there, which was coo coo. Work was pretty coo, my supervisor and the dept. assitant got into trouble for taking a longer lunch then they shouldve. Ha during my chef;s club class this one girl told me that one of the other girls @ the boys club thinks im cute. She said theres only like a couple of guys that are worth going to see at the city. This kid grayson, the "chinese guy" meaning me and some other kids. ha i thought that was quite interesting, a small little girl thinks im cute. hahahaha Then one of the filipino seniors at worked thought i was some kind of asian decent, and yes she thought i was korean.

Went to the velascos for a little bit to watch the laker game. I was talking ot babyvee, and so my phone rings and after i come back she asked who called. Then i told her it was jeanne, and she was like ohh is she okay. Then i told her yea, shes coo then she goes to me "ano?" hahah i was busting up cuz well shes never talked ot me like that. haha Then she was laughing too cuz she forgot that she was talking to me. But she said, well at least you understood what i said. haha I thought that was funny...

After that, had a forever long talk w/jeanne @ el capitan till 2am. Man we sat there talking from like 11pm all the way 2am. It was a good convo, she;s a great person to talk to and really helped me out. We talked bout man errthang we went from subject to subject. jeanne is d0pe!

"F is for all the Fatties wearin my shirt!..."im done, im out God bless!

"Like branches of a tree we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other's."

okay well there was a particular thing i wanted posted on hurr. Unfortunately no one that is on at the moment knows html. ahh i gotta learn that html stuff so i can post my pics bymself. Anyway, well today was aiight, hurr are some things i got out of today...

1. To depend on Him more and less on others
2. Make sure i have errthang in place w/me, thanks St. Anthony for your prayers!
3. If you hurr the mexican talk, go over and listen to him speak, hes got some interesting points.
4. Reirich will be starting a blog, cant wait to add the link on to mine.
5. The mexican and tina(the girl who went to prayer meeting) blog & lj links are updated.
6. I hearby declare that from this day foward, the mexican is my mexican kuya.
7. God is teaching me patience right now.
8. Gas is $1.92 at the 76 & shell station on valleyview and ball.

"Jesus, The Notorious just please us with your lyrical thesis we just chillin', milk 'em, top billin'..."im done, im out God bless!

"Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers; the next day you're gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul."

ill post more bout it later, stupid aol closed on me lost whole entry. Praise God for a d0pe prayer meeting! woO

haha read gails blurty and then youll understand what we were talking bout. DaYsL33pR: hahaha i always write letters to myself like that
JPFish187: i know
JPFish187: i think its funny
DaYsL33pR: cuz isnt that weird? my future self will be reading it
JPFish187: hah yeah
JPFish187: dear future gail
JPFish187: i hate so and so
JPFish187: for this reason
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
JPFish187: haha jk
DaYsL33pR: that's how my paper journal is
JPFish187: hahaaha
JPFish187: hopefully future gail will likethis person by now
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: hahaha i know huh
JPFish187: love past gail
JPFish187: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: lol basically
JPFish187: hahaha
JPFish187: dear future gail
JPFish187: my feet hurt right now
DaYsL33pR: lol
JPFish187: does yours?
DaYsL33pR: i hope u feel better
DaYsL33pR: lol
JPFish187: love past gail
JPFish187: hahahaa
JPFish187: dear future gail, im sooo over blah blah right now
JPFish187: hahah
DaYsL33pR: hahahahaha
JPFish187: remind me never to go out w/him again
DaYsL33pR: dear gail from the future: here is some good advice
JPFish187: hahaha
JPFish187: ahahah
DaYsL33pR: lol i kno
JPFish187: i can see making a movie out of that
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
JPFish187: hey who you are?
JPFish187: im future gail!
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: lol!!
JPFish187: im hurr to tell you what yo need to do
JPFish187: im hurr to follow your advice
JPFish187: then another girls comes out
JPFish187: who the heck ar e you?
DaYsL33pR: too bad future gail can't write back huh
JPFish187: hey im the gail from the past
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: hehehe
JPFish187: hey gail fom the future lets get coldstones
JPFish187: hahahaa
DaYsL33pR: hahahaha
JPFish187: thadtd be funny
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: yea we can't ever meet each other
DaYsL33pR: we're basically pen pals
JPFish187: hhah yeah
JPFish187: hahaha
JPFish187: dear gail from the future so hows life
JPFish187: i hpoe you bought that dress youve always wanted @ forever 21
DaYsL33pR: hahahaha
JPFish187: and i hope you stopped listening to taking back sunday
JPFish187: cuz thye totally suck
DaYsL33pR: LOL
JPFish187: okay well thas it for now, tell God i said hi! love gail from the past
JPFish187: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: hahahaha
DaYsL33pR: dont forget to pray!!
JPFish187: hahaha
JPFish187: oh ps future gail please ask st. (fill in a st. hurr) when m gonna get back my $5
JPFish187: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: hahahaha
JPFish187: dear future gail, its been about 2 hrs since i last wrote you
DaYsL33pR: dear future gail: DON'T EAT THE CHICKEN AT THE CAFETERIA!!!
JPFish187: how come you ahvent written back?!
JPFish187: hahahaha
DaYsL33pR: that should be my journal theme
JPFish187: i mean what the hell i write to you errday
DaYsL33pR: lol!!
JPFish187: but you never write back?!
JPFish187: whas going on hurr?!
JPFish187: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: dear future gail: i hate you!!
JPFish187: ghahahahhaa
JPFish187: im so laughingrightnow
JPFish187: hahaa
DaYsL33pR: you're not being a cool friend
DaYsL33pR: lol
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: me too
JPFish187: hahahaha
DaYsL33pR: it's over between us, this is my last letter
JPFish187: hahahahaa
JPFish187: peace out future hope you enjoy life w/o me!
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: and then it'll be like eminem and stan
JPFish187: yeah!
JPFish187: hahahaaa
DaYsL33pR: and i'll be like: i'm driving off a cliff
JPFish187: dear futuregail
JPFish187: what the hell is up w/you
JPFish187: you still havent wrritten back
JPFish187: im on this cliff right now
JPFish187: and im bout to drive off
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
JPFish187: dear future gail, life sucks!
JPFish187: hahaha
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
JPFish187: oh man this is funny
JPFish187: haha
JPFish187: im having a blast
JPFish187: hahaa
DaYsL33pR: hahahaha
DaYsL33pR: dear future gail, dont watch Daredevil, it's a crappy movie
DaYsL33pR: lol
JPFish187: dear future gail hook up w/so and so
JPFish187: hahaha
JPFish187: haha yeah!
DaYsL33pR: which is WEIRD because then future gail would have watched it and... blablablablabla
JPFish187: hahahahaha
JPFish187: okay thas it for now, love gail from the past
JPFish187: haha
DaYsL33pR: hahaha
JPFish187: oh man
JPFish187: hahah
DaYsL33pR: lol

randumb thoughts...
*what makes me happy, what would happen if were gone, would i care, waht purposes i serve, striders gonna play tears in heaven @ my funeral...OwOo haha though i know its not my time to go yet, cuz if it was then id wouldve been gone a while back ago w/all the close encouters ive had.

no, these are not 'emo' thoughts, juss like thoughts you kinda have to think about. Cmon now, we all gotta stay in check w/reality.

"From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven and when two souls are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united beam..."

I feel really bad right now, i guess my sufferings and what i go through in life, especially now are nothign compared to this kid. Let me tell you a story about this kid i had met a while back ago, this is my story and it goes something like this...well one day i was online and i get one of those random accidental ims from this guy. He turns out to be dan's cousin from oxnard's youf group. It started off w/juss conversations bout the catholic church. Things he didnt understand, things he didnt agree with, he wanted to convert cuz some of the people who were closest to him were protestant. I guess his gf at the time too was protestant also. Anyway, as time passed by we became close. I became his kuya and well i guess he ended up becoming my 'hijo.'

I came to learn that the kid was sick, he was 15 and living w/cancer in his stomach. At one point, it was starting to spread too. Off on and he gets sick, there are times where hes okay and times where he feels like crap. As of now the cancer is stable, so hes doing okay for now. He struggles through life knowing he has this terrible sickness. He searches for answers and well hasnt found the ones he's looking for. Juss tonite, he told me that a part of his body became swollen. I asked my prayer buddy whos like my medical expert, what the symptoms could be. He also told me that juss last year he had testicular cancer and well one of his things were removed.

I realized tonite that the stuff ive been stressing bout, or i tend to stress bout is nothing. My suffering is no way as great as his. To be soo young and to have to wake up errday knowing you have an uncurable sickness. He goes to skool off and on when he feels like going. The poor kid has a hard time accepting what he has and doesnt even understand why he has it. He gets frustrated when he gets sick, knowign theres nothing he can do. It kinda reminds me of the girl in the movie a walk to remember. I do waht i can to help the kid, be the big brother i can to him. Someone he can talk to or juss to be there to listen. I try to be the best kuya i can, juss as my own kuya does to me. So i aks you please continue to keep him in your prayers, man i think id loose it in a way if something happened to him. ITs skurry when he talks bout his illness and when hes not feeling good. He told me tonite, youre the only one that cares, then he said, 'i love you kuya.'

Well with that in mind, this quote for today talks bout soul mates. Bout how errone is destined to find their soul mates. When two people destnied to be together find each other, their lights shine straight up into the heavens. NOt as two indvidual beams of light, but more less one ray of light, shinning straight into the heavens. A now united ray of light, showing the unity between two individuals perfect for each other. BOss lady and kuya are two perfect examples of this quote. Ü

Went to skool today and well it was nothing special. Despite the fact i was late i still found good parking. woOO! Came home for a while and i was talking ot jl and that guy jay online. I guess the guy is suppose to be coming to prayer meeting tomorrow. He asked what we do and waht songs we play. Ends up he knows most of the songs were playing tomorrow nite. I like that striders blog entry tonite, bout 'waht a wonderful world.'
It makes me think of like a big hill grassy area w/a nice blue sky. The sun is shinning out, the birds are singing all over. Actually this song is, what im sure heaven is like...if i go end up getting there. haha

Went to work, had only like 7 kids but that was cool with me. As long as i have kids to work with to keep me busy. Lyn²'s polynesian class is pretty popular, i always hurr people talking bout it. I was in my club room storage room the other day and i was reading her steps to the song theyre doing. I got stuck though, cuz there was this one word i didnt know which was like a step. The class looks fun and im sure she makes real fun and exciting too! i dont understand errnite, ialways get these like nats inside my house. Then the fly around my computer and i end up killing them.

So i attempted to learn how to html tonite, this wya i dont rely on other people like mizike, fred, kuya and reirich to post pics for me. But it juss wasnt working out, maybe i wasnt in the right mind state to do so. Strider said he'll teach me in person. wooO thatd be d0pe then i can do pics all bymyself at my convience! i talked to angela today for a bit, she told me she might be stopping by prayer meeting tomorrow. Thatd be cool if she did being she hasnt came in forever long. Ever since she started her new job @ urban outfitters.
i cant wait till july, till my birfday comes up so we can go to vegas. We started to plan it out yesterday, some of my fam bam tribe will be coming. ONce i turn 21, im gonig all out especially in vegas. Imma hit up err club, err bar, err casino err karaoke bar haha its on after years of waiting and anticipation its gonna be hurr!

Somethign that helped me today that aela emailed to me. i love aela wisdom, err she says makes a lot of sense and it so true. Thas why i listen to whatever aela says cuz i know shes right. "Don't let anyone take the joy in your heart...for your heart is a reflection of your Creator's beauty". There is nothing bigger than Him. So no matter what we go through, He will always conquer it for He is the Lord of Lord and the King of Kings. The joy of carrying your cross is knowing that you will have the rewards of the resurrection. Thanks aela, i needed that for today. I juss need to continue to remind myself that errday.

"The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands saying, 'How do you do?' they're really saying, 'I love you...'im done, im out God bless!

"You can motivate players better with kind words than you can with a whip."
hurr are some motivating kind words to use on the opposite sex...haha maybe you could pick one or two up...hahaha joke only

U got a smile that will melt an Iceburg
your body is so dynamite, astronomers had to rename the big bang, cuz it got nothing on you!
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside? you got a body that will melt antarctica!!!
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
do you have a map? cuz im getting lost in your eyes
cuz ure hot. You must be the reason for global warming.
youre so beautiful, i dont need a pick up line, i need to be picked up (cuz you knocked me down)
im writing a term paper on the finer things in life
Can i interview you ?
you are the single most beautiful being on this earth right now, and if you would do me the favor of dancing one dance with me, i know you would make me the happiest man in the world tonight
Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place.
like Your the Only Fish in my See
Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
I bet you cannot wait until tomorrow
because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day
I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
Hey, how did you do that?
do what?
Look so good?

"the truth, is u can slit my throat. and with my one last gasping breath i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt" im done, im out God bless!

"Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light..."

Man the devil has been working overtime a lot this past month. I juss realized that now, how hes working to tear up people inside. Tear up the relationships people have w/each other. ahh i know this cuz its happening to me, ive been getting a lot of small attacks lately. Ever since last week, its been like one small one right after the other. Though i know i gotta be strong, i could take it cuz i am strong. Ive had i think bigger attacks before, so if i could tear apart those ones, then i can easily stomp on these ones. I pray that God gives me the strength to take up HIs armor and to shield me w/his love and protection. Attacks be gone, no more!!!

Faith is the theme im using for my prayers this tues. To have faith and to have hope go together as a team. Gotta faith i think is to remain positive bout things. Even in the darkest hour, even in the midst of all our trials, we gotta have faith. Faith is our strength knowing that after running over each hurdle, we become stronger in God's love knowing we got through it. God has faith in us, so we should have faith in Him, knowing he will take care of us and provide.

This day was alright, its exciting to know we can say alleuia again! wooO Went to mass this morning and as err easter mass it was packed. I think more people go to easter mass then xmas mass. Meaning the people who only go once a year to the easter and xmas mass. It was kinda annoying cuz these kids in back of us were making a lot of noise. They werent young kids either, but like older kids teenagers. It was quite irritating but i dindt say anything, though it was upsetting they werent reverent enough.

Got to talk to boss lady twice today online! thas tight, i love talking to boss lady she always helps me out and makes me feel good. Took a small nap after mass, then went to get kfc for lunch. I need ot work on my patience w/people and juss things in general. Im sure most of you all heard my encounter w/the handicapp man. I guess when i feel impatient, i juss need to take a deep breath and relax. "Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on, Hold fast, Hold out. Patience is genius..."

Went to the park @ twila reid and chilled there for most of the afternoon. I saw this really cute puppy and it was sooooo small too. i was playing w/it and holding it, i was like awww i miss my dogs. ANyway, i got a funny story to tell bout the park today. Well you know how park bafrooms are always busy and dirty. Today, my cousin dante went to the bafroom. There was only one stall in there, so he was in there doing his business. All of a sudden this guy kicks the door open and starts to join my cousin peeing. As if it was some kind of community urinal or something. hahaha Dante got grossed out and hurried up and boned out. haha That was sick, i tell ya, some people these days dont have their head on straight. You wonder what goes on in their head or something.

Went to ryans house and we chilled there for a while. Its cool ryan told me today, that whenever he talks to me there is always some kind of purpose. As of lately weve been talking a lot bout relationships and ive been advising him on what to do. I only hope he really discerns and takes my advice into consideration. NOt to act impulsively and make the wrong one. I explained to him the difference between beng protestant and being catholic. He told me he never that stuff and its coo cuz he udnerstands now. Praise God for apologetics! wooo After we went to starbucks @ the towne center. Ran into my cousins there, chris, kristina and my other cousin. Well they were in line getting starbucks, ryan and i sat out waiting for them. Next thing we know theyre gone, oh well. Ryan gave me some advice too on some my own current struggles and situations.

Since i felt the need to go see Jesus, i took ryan w/me to St. Dominics. It was quite dissapointing though cuz the adoration chapel was closed! aww boooo and i dont understand why cuz its always open 24/7 usually errtime i go there. I hope something didnt happen to church wehre they have to change the hours now. Cuz where will i go when i need to see Jesus during a late nite attack. Since we were ther anyway, i kinda explained as best as i could the symbolism of the statue of Our lady.

Well its getting late, and im on hurr later then i wanted to be. I talked to the mexican today, man that foo is always out. Like he stays out late and wkaes up early to wor kerrday. To work for a long day too, errday, i wonder how he does it. So tomorrow starts a brand new week, i hope this one will be a better one than last. Though as i told banne, we gotta juss hold on to waht we have. Each day say , ""TODAY...wrap a rainbow of joy in your heart, let the sun paint a smile on your face, remove all clouds of doubts and fears, and savor GOD's GIFT of a NEW DAY" hh i can only hope somethign will return back to being ordinary.

"If ever I believe my work is done, Then I'll start back at one..."im done, im out God bless!

"hope is faith handing out its hand in the dark..."

Praise God for today, i knew he would get me thorugh today and he did. I woke up this morning, wantng to sleep in. Lyn² called me this morning too, makng sure i was up. Thanks co-worker, youre great! Anyway, i still had the anxities and the fear that i might do something wrong to mess up. Ever since i messed up at the breakfast w/santa, i have this fear when it comes to events we put on. Juss a weird feeling that i might mess up something. The set up went really quick, easy and well. Then i was worried bout the djs nto making it or not playing the right music. Errthang went really well though today, smooth and easy. My bosses liked the music and the djs. ahh Praise God im relieved, juss one other thing really bothering me now. I can only pray it'll be all over soon.

Hope is an interesting word to talk bout. So many things come to mind when i think of this word. I think hope is pretty much saying hol up and dont stress. When errthang seems crumbling down, dont stress theres still soemthing otu there. To hang on and not to give up already. Hope keeps sane when we think were bout to go crazy. It can ease fear and stress cuz with hope comes prayer. Hope gives us that little spark in the dark when it seems like there is no more light. ahh its telling us to hold on a little bit longer, to persevere thruogh the darkness to find the light.

So my day was bout resting and chillin. I finally was able to finsih my line up and my prayers for tues. I havent been in the right mind the past week to start them. anyway, so i was able to do that and i came across some interesting stuff. I found out that katrizzle has a live journal now, so you can check that out. Jaymee changed her blog, thas something to read bout. I invited her fam bam tribe to my easter celebration @ the park tomorrow. Being her fam bam tribe is in vegas, i thught they could join my fam so they dont be alone. Hmm the 'mexican' called me today, talked to him for a while. Then ended up talking to him later on, online. HAd an interesting discussion. He gave me some good advice and told me he does the same thing i do. The whole st yourself up for a dissapointment cuz of expectations.

Talked to antonio for a little bit, to see how he;s doing. Finished sending out the last lenten devotion of this lenten season. So tomorrow we can start going back to our regular routines. Eat meat, candy, soda, cursing haha jk bout that one. Whatever you gave up yu can do woOO! you know its hard for me to look forward to family events now. I dont see some of them as i did before, cuz well many of them changed. Changed for the good? no, i believe like ariel had said many of them wont be in heaven. Theyre too into themselves and their outside world. They say theyre not trendy but they are. They are the biggest trenders out there, thas what i think. oh well, gotta love them though, theyre still my family...

"A little bit of Monica, in my life, A little bit of Erica, by my side, A little bit of Rita's, all I need, A little bit of Tina, is what I seek, A little bit of Sandra, in the sun, A little bit of Mary, all night long, A little bit of Jessica, here I am, A little bit of you makes me your man..."im done, im out God bless! Happy Easter!

"It is one of the blessings of friends that you can afford to be stupid with them"

Thas i think one of the best parts of having a friend, is being able to act stupid and not get judged. YOu know you got good friends when you say something stupid and they laugh with you at the same time. Not where youre insecure about what you say cuz youre afraid to be judged. Friends shouldnt judge each other, but only give advice to help them. If friends are judgemental then there would be no time for fun and games. The whole friendship would be based on drama! haha and well im sure no one likes to have drama. Especially when it comes to friends, close friends. Well for me i cuold say ive had that happen one too many times and it still occurs till this day. Its stressful, it hurts and and it sucks when you got a friend who is upset w/you or youre worried if a friend is. Though i guess thas part of a true friendship when trials occurr to come out of them. Not alone, but togther holding each others hand.

It was nice today, i got to sleep till almost 11am. As many of you know my week has been pretty stressful worrying bout this event tomrrow. I know God is with me and errthang will go well, cuz i messed up one event, i have this fear of messing up again. All this pre-event anxiety of expectations from supervisors and making sure errrthang goes smooth to their expecatations. Hopefully the day morning will go fast, the set up and the clean up. So i can breathe again and carry on the rest of my day. Juss gotta remember to take deep breaths. God knows this event is going to be successful, thas probably why ive experienced so many small attacks almost errday this week. Either that or its cuz im leading prayer meeting on tues. Praise God ive been getting through them, and not letting them get to me. LAtely ive been going through some struggles and some obstacles, but God has been holding my hand the whole entire way. I have full confidence he will lead me through this hurdles.

Man i keep running into people from my past. Forreal i met two different people frmo my past again today. Either that or i end up meeting new people to become friends with. Like today, i was at the walmart in the bp mall, this guy comes up to me who works there and was like 'hey wassup jason.' At first i didnt recgonize who it was but i think i remembered who it was, i didnt see his name tag so im not fo sure. That was coo we talked for a little bit and i invited him to prayer meeting. Then later on that day, angela calls me and asks me what time mass and confession scheule is @ spv. So from there we talked for about a good half hour catching up on stuff. Because i coudlnt explain how to get to St. Peter Chanel, her and i are gonna go tomorrow after i get off work.

God's telling me something bout all these people ive been running into. Its no coincidence i know thas for sure. But what does it all mean? Looks like im going to have to turn to the old oujia board and tarot cards for those answers. Right fred? hahaha you know how that goes, gotta try and experience new things. hahaha jk im only joking bout the practice of oujia and tartot cards. Thats stuff not somethign to mess around with. Though i always wanted to go and get my fortune read. MY old boss would always go to a fortune teller, shed read things from your jewerly and give you names. I use to do tarot cards too, well id pretend i knew how. haha errone always thought i did, but i never knew how to use them. I didnt understand how to play the game and the book ddint really explain it either.

There was this one fri. evening like 2 years ago when i was w/my secular friends. Well the weather was raining and cold, so we didnt wanna go out. At the time wed always end up going to the block anyway. So we decided to stay in and order pizza and do tarot card readings. I always made up 'spontaneous tarot card' readings. My friend got candles, lit them and turned off the lights. It totally seemed like a beginning to some corny skurry movie. The wind was blowing hard, it was stormy and raining hard too. Then i gave out some fake readings but i struggled giving them cuz at times id be like uhhh, ummm. haha They believed my readings too, thas the funny part.

Ran errands w/my mom, wal-mart at the bp mall is so huge. Went to the 99 cent stores, then went to good friday liturgy. After went to confession, father hussey gave errone absolution cuz the line was so long and it was already almost 10pm. That was tight that he did that, though i still want to talk to him. Man hed make a good spiritual director, too bad hes not a permanent priest at spv. After i met up w/the velascos, aela, reirich, mike and lyn lyn @ the south st. We all talked bout relationships again and played 20 ?'s bout relationships. It was quite interesting conversation. I am now freds 'sd' hahah i tell him to go the opposite direction he should be going. haha jk I love hurring aela give talks bout relationships, i call it 'aela wisdom.' haha

So today at sears in the bp mall, i walk in. I pass by the checkout stand and i see from afar a somewhat cute girl. As i pass by her she smiles at me, i could shes like hs still. I pass by and she smiles at me, i was like whoa, no girls ever smile at me. hahaha Well i decided maybe i could talk to her cuz ertime i passed by that area she kinda look. I thought well ill try to make a move and take that 'risk.' I was getting nervous cuz she always having customers so it was like ahh! When it was finally clear, i walked up and i said, "cuz youre so hot, that you must be a reason for global warning." hahah jk i didnt say that, yeah right it was more less like this, "are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?" she was like awwww that was so swe3t. haha yeah right too i wish haha Naw i simply said oh you look kinda familiar(cuz she did, not trying to use a pick up line.) have we met before? Then she was like naw, i dont think so. Looking at me trying to i guess read me? or something but she didnt seem really interested, so i said oh forget it! haha I felt retarted after that, but hey like i told strider i took that 'risk.' haha I wish i was brave enough to do that more often, too bad i dont got that courage. hahaha

"Head over heels It seems so real I feel like I'm falling in love..."im done, im out God bless!

"Even from a dark night songs of beauty can be born..."

man oh man, i feel quite retarted right now. oh why?! agh my life sucks, it sucks, it sucks! ahh someone shoot me! haha jk yeah right, i aint even close to being like that. anyway, yeah i feel pretty stupid right now, and i guess i got caught up w/the moment and only set myself up for a dissapointment. ahh i think i get too excited and i start thinking things. ahh oh well, at the same time it was also kinda funny. i guess i took a risk and it was an experience to learn from! haha ill write the details later tonite in my entry.

"Girl, if i was down and out would you still have grub for me now? would you still have love for me..."im done, im out God bless!

"The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?"

So this week is finally over...agh yes! i cannot wait till sats event is over and done with. I know errthang will go well, juss i guess all this anxiety. ANyway, today seemed like a forever long day at work, so many different things to do and ready for. Prayer buddy had lunch w/me today, that was the highlight of my day i think. That was tight, cuz she drove thousands of miles down juss to have lunc w/her prayer buddy! =) i love my prayer buddy, she makes me laugh until i have a headache! haha thas what happened today, forreal! today we made pasta w/the kids at work. It turned really well, nice and tasty, not to mention we didnt make a mess this time.

Its great how rtb#1 doesnt let things get to her and she tosses them aside cuz she wnats to be happy. Thas d0pe, i rather be around someone who is happy rather then somoene who is so emo. Like 'woe is me no one likes me..'etc etc. That's straight kill joy right there, on the reals! You know mike g from the westside said something very interesting last nite. To me i thought it was very humbling to hurr that especially coming from a guy. Anyway, well i kinda was in and out of the convo picking up things hurr and there. THough he said that he wants to experience a break up where the girl breaks up w/him. To go through the heartbreak, the hurt, sadness etc. juss to know what it feels like or something like that. It was like wow when i heard that cuz obviously no one likes to be hurt. I found that very humble and d0pe at the same time.

That guy too very knowledgeable on a lot of different things. He asked me last nite, 'so who do you like?' and i said to be honest blah blha blah and then he goes aww let me know if you need anything, so then i said okay i need a $100 right now. haha good stuff, yes yes good stuff. As i was leaving work today, i happened to take a quick glance at one of my frames. Ha the picture i happened to look at was an old one from back in feb. ::sigh::

Went to mass, and it took longer than i expected. I felt bad cuz i didnt get to watch the movie w/kuya. He ended up watching it by himself, awww. Ill make it up to you kuya, ill drive down to see you @ work tomorrow. hahah
Today marks Good friday, a day to really think about the passion of Christ. A time to reflect upon on ourselves and juss look deep into our own souls. I remember when i was younger i dreaded good friday mass cuz it was so long. Now that im older i appreciate more, i understand it more too thas why. Wow to undergo all that pain and suffering for hours, all for love. Man i really need to start picking up my own crosses in life and juss bear with it all.

My sister leaves for hawaii tomorrow for a whole week. Shes going cuz of choir stuff, thas tight. Cant wait till next year when ill be @ the real world wedding! hahaha Ran into some old friend today @ the block. It was good to see them again. i feel bad for not keeping in touch w/them as i should, yet it goes bof ways. Juss like a relationship, its gotta be at least 50/50. Speaking of relationships i forgot to mention one last type of relationship the other day. THe last one is the 'triangle relationship.' This is where God is at the very top of the relationship and the couple are on the two ends. Their goal in this relationships is to work to get closer to God, and as they get closer to God they get closer to each other. I need to tell ryan bout that one too, thas really important for him to know.

Saw that movie w/arch 'better luck tomorrow.' It was pretty long and crazy, arch and i didnt see a real plot there in the movie. Juss a bunch of guys wanting attention, who had errthang going in their life and made some dumb mistakes. Thas why its important to count your blessings daily. You never know when errthang will be pulled out from under you. IM glad jl is very positive bout life and errthang, goes to show how many different things shes grateful for. Im happy this week cuz i met a variety of new people, wooOO! i enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them and what not. aiight this is it for now, this entry is whack i know i jumped around.

"A whole new world, thas where well be, a thrilling chase, a wondrus place for you and me..." im done, im out God bless!

"Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking foward to sharing time with them again."

That was the quote i had used yesterday when blog got all jacked up. Well today is HOly Thursday, were slowly coming to an end of lent. What i have gained? Well ive gain a discipline to go to daily mass errmorning.
Juss the importance of sacrafice and discpline. Lately ive been really irritable and impatient w/juss people, things errthing and errone. I try not to show it or let it get to me otherwise then thered be drama. On top of that trying to stay from being the whole 'emo' thing. haha The story last week w/the handicapp man proves my point w/impatience. As for irritable it juss goes hand in hand w/the whole impatience thing. Though i pray that my heart may be pure and cleansed.

You know ive been really taking advantage of the sacrament of reconciliation. I dont think ive gone so much in my entire life. haha im juss full of sin or something hahah its all good though. Actually im proud of myself for making an effort to go more now. Where as before it was the whole do your basic duty as a catholic and go once a year. NOw i go like errday, ya heard?! haha jk Naw its juss good to get errthang thas hindering up inside of you out and cleansed.

Work was aiight, another long endless and tiring day. I got into trouble this morning for the paint on the carpet. The carpet in my room is kinda thrashed. Long story, but after that talk w/my supervisors i began to think. I realized that ive been getting small attacks, nothing big or major though. Though im happy that ive been able to get over all of them yet so far.

The rest of the day went smooth, juss really busy and stressful. Did some easy craft w/the kids, then took them to the park to try to kill time. Kuya had lunch w/me, we went to rubios. That was fun, kuya came to me this time! wooOo Then he calls me and tells me this story how he was approached by some lady wanting him to model. kuya said no cuz hes no into that whole scene. Whas funny is she told kuya, he reminded her of Mario lopez. hahaha in case youre wondering why thas funny cuz i remind him of that erronce in a while.

Went to st. lucys and met some people there, it was cool cuz they were really hospitable towards jeanne and i. thas d0pe cuz i like going out to a different community and being welcomed there. I hope we at sh are like that welcoming and not where we shut out people. We left @ like 6pm to get there and good thing we did otherwise we woudlnt of foudn parking. There group is small, and its filled basically with youf. Basically the group is under any real guidance, its kinda designed to bring youf together to keep off the street. So we got there and we did a couple songs of praise & worship. Two action songs, woo we did lulaley it was fun. Then thye had an easter egg hunt and there was a prize for the person who collected the most eggs. I only found 4 which was like average i guess, where as jeanne found one egg.

After we went outside to watch this spanish group put on "the way of the cross" skit. The skit was very powerful and convicting. FRom the very beginning till the very end when they put Jesus into the tomb, it was so whoa. In the beginnign they had the roman soliders bring in Jesus to pilate and juss watching that sent chills down my back. IT felt as if i was there in the crowd watching the whole time. Then the guy who played Jesus did a great job, he made me feel as if that guy was really Jesus. THe whole crucifcixion part made me juss realize errthang in life. WHen they were pounding ni the nails, it looked soo real. When they put up the cross and there was Jesus now crucified, that was juss i dont know how to explain it. This was the first year where i guess i really paid close attention to the crucifixion and the whole lenten season. Oh yeah and the whole mood was set for the whole stations of the cross. IT was dark, cold and it was crazy cuz right behind the cross was a full a moon.

At the end of it, jeanne and i both didnt knwo waht to say. Like we went up and juss looked at the cross and the feeling i got looking at it was juss guilt. Anyway, we went back to say our goodbyes and exchange email info and what not. Theyre having a bonfire next fri. @ seal beach so i think jeanne and i want to go. Ill send out an email to ask if anyone else wants to join us. I love bonfires, those are the best! wooO I remember the one i had last summer, errthang didnt go exactly to plan but oh well it was still fun. This year the bonfire will be even bigger, since i know more people in different communities now.

Went back to cpe to meet up w/errone else there. The guys were playing ball and finishing up their games. IT was quite of collection of people from all over. We had the football team durr, then we had sfc people there and we had uprm there. I on the other had had to do something athletic haha so i went for a jog. I shouldve stretched out before cuz at the end i got dizzy and sore. It reminded me of my younger days haha when id run a lot. ha that all went down the drain, though i should start to pick that up again. Dont wanna become a fat, lazy heifer in life.

Then we went to cerritos towne center ate and chilled there for a while. Heard some pretty interesting, yet skurry conversations being stirred up. I didnt leave till almost 1am cuz many of us were sitting there talking bout relationships. I guess it was like one of those on site singles for Christ household meetings. Interesting points came up and experiences from the past were talked bout. IT was coo cuz errone had a say in something and it was good to look at things from all different perspectives. Like what people want, what they fear and what thye look foward to. Good times, good times i must say, even though we were forever and it was cold.

Aela is d0pe, i really like listening to her talk and her stories. She's so wise and juss errthang she says makes a lot of sense. MAybe thas why shes our servant god haha But forreal cuz of all the experience she has and the stuff shes been thorugh, errthang she says is juss yeah how true. I guess thas why its important to listen to elders and not try to do things our own way. When we try to do things our own way instead of taking their advice thas when we ourselves into trouble. THough with that comes the experience part and learning from that experience. I think thas the way we our w/God sometimes, or maybe a lot of times for me that is. We hurr Him telling us to go one way yet we turn the wheel and decide to take a different direction. I guess certain things now made me really realize the importance of listening to advice is. Yes, its only advice but yet the advice isnt given for no apparent reason. Its only to help us grow and to make us see outside the box, not juss inside of it.

Agh my aol is jacked up again i cant add people to my buddy list for some reason. I keep getting an error occured when i try. Stupid aol cuz i got all these new buddies to add to my buddy list. NOw its making a beeping sound for errthang and not the regular sound its suppose to make. agh so frustrating! well i cant wait till this week is over, all the stress and the anxiety ive been feeling will be over. Well actually once im finished w/work on sat. then ill be relieved. Ill be able to breath again! i have to take al unch @ 2pm which is a long time away, hopefully prayer buddy will be able to take it w/me.

"Jesus rememeber me when you come into your kingdom..."im done, im out GOd bless!

agh!!! it did it again!!! it erased my whole entry!!!!!!!! agh oHWY !? anyway i added this on there stupid blog i hate it!!!! i even posted it too!!!

There are moments in life when we feel that we have reached our limits with the trials and tribulations of life. It is important that we remember that God has given us a special strength to endure and persevere and continue on despite these hardships that befall us. I encourage you to gird yourself up and recognize God's strength that lies within your spirit and be determined never to give in or give up. God has you in the palms of His hand and nothing by any means shall be able to overtake you. Rest in this promise and know that God is with you. (2 Corinthians 12:8-10) (Psalm 91:2-4)... Never allow the enemy to discourage your heart and make you feel like giving up on being a witness and an example of the Lord. Your reward in eternity will greatly outweigh this light affliction that seems so great right now.

“I am suffering these things; but I am not ashamed, for I know Him in whom I have believed and am confident that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me until that day.” – 2 Timothy 1:12

Suffering does not make sense to this modern world. Not even the most scientifically astute minds or advanced mathematical theorems can explain the purpose of suffering. Science cannot give us an answer, so technology attempts to give us hundreds of ways to avoid it. That is part of the problem…not suffering, but avoidance. Suffering to a non-Christian mind is pointless, but to a Christian, suffering is nothing short of “perfect-ing” love.

I know…it doesn’t seem to make sense. How can LOVE be rooted in suffering?
How can pain be a “good thing”? The answer is at the heart of today’s verse.

The truth is that suffering can be a beautiful thing, if we trust. It was in my greatest moments of suffering…true suffering, that I learned how much God really loves me. God, in his LOVE, allows us to suffer from time to time, NOT because He dislikes us, but because He loves us THAT much…that He would allow us to participate in the truest form of love that there is – the cross of Christ…the willingness to suffer, even unto death.

Our suffering is forever bound to His.
It is in Christ’s brokenness that He saves us.
It is in our brokenness that we can help Him save others.

If those who profess to know and who proclaim to love God (you and I) go through hardships, all the while refusing to take our eyes off of our Creator, especially in moments of intense loneliness or pain…how much stronger will those around us become? How much stronger will our witness be? How many more of our friends and family will want to come to know our source of strength and of joy in the face of trial or pain?

For, you and I are the body of Christ, BROKEN and shared so that others might live…just like the Eucharist.

Every one of the tears that I have ever shed has, in time, helped another. If my brokenness can bring hope or comfort, wisdom or counsel, peace or, even, joy to another member of God’s family, than that pain was not worthless but very worthwhile.

If I am a true Christian than that means that I don’t view things the same way a non-Christian does. Someone who doesn’t know Jesus views this world as an ending place; Christians see it as a preparation place. Someone who doesn’t believe in Christ will probably never understand the purpose of suffering, but a Christian knows the ending to the story.

Suffering is nothing less than participating in the perfect “love triangle”, the most complete and truest form of love that exists, the love between God the Father and God the Son, a love so selfless and so real that it has to be expressed in its own complete person, the third person of the Holy Trinity, the Spirit.

Pain is temporary, but victory is forever.
Suffering lasts a short time, but the joy of Christ is eternal.
Don’t believe me? Just ask a mother, moments after giving birth.
Suffering brings life ‘to life’ in a newer, more profound way.
Like life, it is a mystery, designed to point us back to our Creator.


Suffering is not a waste of time, but a moment in time.
Suffering does not sever my relationship with God, but more deeply unites me to Him.
Suffering is a blessed grace, not because it is mine, but because it is His.

The blood that dripped from HIS veins was not IN vain.

"I ride wit the I slide wit the Loccs and doggs from the LBC.."im done, im ouT God bless!

"Friends. A simple word isn't it? It's uttered everyday to almost every person imaginable. Who are your friends? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch ur heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just becuase it was with them. They're the people you can
share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life."

whoa thas like a whole paragraph in itself. You know i think it hasnt been until recently that i really understood waht the meaning of a friend is. How i truly value friendships and relationships i have w/people.
Hmm i think God is trying to tell me something cuz i keep either running into old people i knwo, meet new people or talk to someone who i ahvent talked to in a while. Friends how many of us have them, friends the ones we can depend on. haha anyway its coo when you make new friends. I love it when i go out and i meet new people. I guess im far from being antisocial, unless im tired or something. Its weird how certain people can read you, even though theyve only known you a short time. its crazy though how the friends i have now, i feel like ive had them all my life. As if ive known them all my life, when actually ive only known them little over a year.

Aiight hurrs somethign that i found interesting. I guess last nite jeanne and her friend mike(no, not mizike tandiama). So they were talking bout realtionships and what qualities theyre ideal mate would have. It made me think of some of the things i remembered from my marriage and family class i took. That class was d0pe, i learned a lot of interesting things. Because i took that marriage imma gonna have a flawless relationship...yeah right! i dont think there is such thing as a flawless relationship. ANyway so the point of this paragraph is to discuss the three types of relationships. I dont know if you believe the same way, but whatever its juss some food for thought. To me it makes sense, cuz ive seen it happen to other people i know.

Well there are three differetn types of relationships, the 'M frame,' the 'H frame' and the 'A frame.' Youre lookin at this thinking huh? thas gay, h, m, a i dont believe that stuff. Hurr let me explain to you what each of the different frames mean. Aiight the first one is the 'a-frame' reationship which means that bof people in the relationship rely on extreme dependence on one another. Meaning they always gotta be togther w/each other, theyre both insecure with themselves. Bof people only thinks of himself or herself as half of a couple, as do their friends and family. If you look at it, its called the A- frame cuz they lean on each other like how the letter is A shaped. If one persons leaves the realtionship, the other one falls.

The opposite of that would be the 'h-frame' relationship. Meaning bof partners have very strong indvidualy indentities but are so indepedent fo each other that they are barely connected. Juss like how the h is shaped there is the big gap in the middle. They share few interests and spend little time together. They make major life decisions without taking the other person needs into account. They do not share information about themselvs and may fail to provide the type of support the other needs. Basically they have no idenity as a couple, which totally sucks. Its like why bother to be together if youre so far apart.

The last one is the whats called the "m-frame' relationship. Where each person has high self-esteem and a strong indvidualiy. Eahc person is quite capable of standing alone but values the connection to the partner. IN this type of relationship, there is mutual influence and support. Neithr partner is needier than the other and neither is more powerful. If the relationship ends, bof partners feel a profound sense of loss but are able to recover and go on with their indvidual lives. Its been said, that this is a relationship all couples should striver for, yet not all can achieve it.

So there you have it, the there different types of relationships there are in life, which one do you want to have? Which one represents you? Today was aiight, im quite drained though. I should be gettng more rest like i always say, but it never happens. I went to sleep @ 3am, woke up at like 830am, finally i got ready for work.
Work was aiight, it seemed kinda slow but yet fast at the same time. Im working all day long all week,. I cant wait till this week is over. When things will be back to normal it'll be more of a relief. Woo lets see how many more days till we can sya the 'a word.' 6 moe days! IM glad i had kdis to work wif today cuz it helped kill time a little bit. Then i kinda got in trouble w/my boss along w/my other 2 co workers bout not be organized w/this week. I was like whatever cuz i was hungry and anxious for lunch.

Came home aftter work and i made another buddy to add to my buddy list. haha i now have tomo on my buddy list. wooo AOL brings people togther, on the reals yo! no doubt no doubt. So kuyas back to normal now after an interesting nite @ the cheesecake factory. haha Kuyas nice to hijo when he has a little too much 'fun.' hahaha jk naw kuyas one d0pe kuya, no one could ever replace the guy...and period as JL would say. haha I gotta stop there before i turn all emo. haha Strider is another coo kat, he told some very encouraging words tonite. I was a bit dissapointed cuz i tried to call a friend tonite, but the # was changed. I guess theres no way God wants me to talk to her or something.

I had a good convo w/ryan tonite. The poor guy is stressing over something he shouldnt need ot be stressing over. The answer is easy my friend, juss say no! Hopefully he'll think w/his brain before he thinks w/his puso. I shared w/him the wisdom kuya always says. He was convicted by the thing i told him bout not changing people, but letting people be inspired to chage. Ryan's a d0pe guy, i can only pray that he makes the right decision and he discerns well. I told him he has so much to offer, juss to sit and wait. God is in the process of creating the person for him. Too avoid someone who is all emo and only bring you down. I want th guy to be happy and not worried bout stuff like relationships. Pray that he discerns correctly and makes the right decision. I told him what i felt bout his whole 'dillema' but i told him whatever decision he makes ill support him. Juss take into consideration what i said. ahh the life of a hs kid! haha

Crazy thing happened tonite, i was talknig online as usual. Then the 'knock, knock' do you want to accept this IM warning came up. I think i was typing so fast i didnt even get a chance to look whos sn was it. So i accepted it and i thought it might be strider perpin or something. I had im strider juss to make sure, cuz he notorious for that! haha Anywya, turns out to eb the guy jl and i met @ the bank on fri. HE was looking @ our website and found my name under the contacts. Then the rest after that is history...He knows a lot of people i knew when i was in hs. Though we went to two total different ones. The guy seemed pretty cool, hes only 20 but he looks older than that. i was juss suprised the guy lookeD @ the website.

"Is there anything i would not do, since i would die for you..." im done, im ouT God bless!

"Throughout your life, meet as many people as you possibly can. You have no idea how much goodness and opportunity you will come by. Always keep in touch with everyone. The good ones will stay close by and those will be the ones who help you through anything and everything that you will ever need. In the instance that you lose someone for some reason, if it was meant to be that that person is supposed to be with you in your journey, they will somehow someway rejoin you again."

Reading this quote made me realize how i should try and make a better effort keeping on contact w/my other friends. I love going out and meeting new people, getting to know them and then later becoming friends with them. Usually during the summer time is when i end up meeting a whole lot of new people. The new friends ive made within the past year, are the ones who help me through everything. Stay by my side in times of need and whatever else i may need.

Well i dont got much to really say tonite suprisingly. Went to mass @ 1215 and it was jam packed! Came home ate lunch, wanted to sleep but couldnt. Got ready picked up kuya and mizike went to cerritos mall. Went to spectrum for jeannes birfday dinner @ cheesecake. ::sigh:: ahh that place reminds me of the time i had gone in aug. i met travis from blink 182! wooo he shook my hand and i had an actual convo w/him. Cool guy juss a regular normal guy.

"I look at you, looking at me, now i know why they say the best things are free.."im done, im out God bless!

"I would rather be the type of person who takes the ride and gets hurt, Than the person who takes the safe route and never feels pain."

I dont get it, i wrote a whole blog last nite and then it doesnt even come up today. It doesnt even show the post on hurr, thas weird. I know strider wrote one too and his doesnt even show up. agH!! blog is so frustrating, thas why i hate using this stupid thing sometimes. It only pisses me off!!a agh! that so puzzling why it did that, now i gotta write a whole new entry over! agH!!! stupid blog!!! i guess the good part about redoing blog is i wnot be so tired and i could write a litte bit more.

This was the same quote i had used yesterday too. Hmm the theme of this quote is all bout experiences and going through them and understanding why things had happened in those experiences. Its like i rather be the person who takes the risk goign through the experience and gettnig hurt then the person who doesnt take that route and is afraid. Experiences help us become a better person in a way, going through the experience we understand what went wrong and we can look to change it. How are we suppose to get anywhere w/o goign through the experience. Experiences help us get to other places too, cuz weve gone through it and now were ready for something bigger to come our way. With experience comes risk taking, we take the risk by goign through the hurt and pain. Often times were afraid to step out the boat and risk seeing what'll happen cuz were so use things be the same way. Skurred of moving into change, therefore resulting in not going through the experience. Experiences help us grow, so dont be afraid of risking new things to get the experience!

Well i use my phone errday as my alarm on my phone to wake me up errday. I had set for 715am to get wake up and get ready to be @ spv @ 745am. The alarm didnt go off, i woke up at almost 8am! agh which made me rush getting ready, which resulting me in being late. If you know me then i hate rushing to be late to get to things! Like on mon. the same thing happened, when i spent the nite @ kuyas. The alarm didnt go, but good thing kuya had an interenal alarm in his head. Otherwise, oh man he couldve been late for work! whew good thing that didnt happen. I think i need to get my phone checked out cuz its doing weird things anyway. i want a new phone like the one mo rice has, thas tight!

We had the first communion retreat yesterday. It was pretty fun, they didnt do much like we did in the previous years, though it was still fun. I think it was God telling me maybe i shouldnt retire from SRe anytime soon. When i got tthere it brought back memories of the youf alpha reunion picnic. The one that well there wasnt a grip of people, but there was enough. I guess that was when music ministry performed also. I never even knew that until recently, probably cuz i didnt come till later on. ha i remember that day, i was doing a first communion retreat then when when it was over, i was hesitant to go out there. I was debating whether i was going to go or not cuz i think of insecurities. Actually no it was another reason, haha but i cant post it on hurr cuz its well nm. haha
Anyway, i ended up going out there and it turned out to be pretty fun. They played handball and other stuff like that. Wish i could find those pics from that time. aww the memories! haha

So back to the retreat, well techincally i dindt really have to be there cuz the teacher who ive been subbing for was back. Then i had to lead the praise & worship for the songs theyre goign to be singing for their first communion mass. oh man we had to do that song, "if God loves you and you know it..." we done that song like 3x in a row! they were probably sick of the song by the end of the day! Then we practiced on how to receive communion w/the unconsecrated bread. All the teachers showed them before hwo to receieve it and what to do after taking it. Man it was dissapointing cuz when they all came up a lot of the kids didnt know how to take it. They didnt know what to do after taking it. It made me wonder what those teachers are teaching them inside their classes. To me the kids should know this already cuz its april and they shouldve been practicing this all year long.

Though i think i got through to the kids about Eucharist being the real presence of Jesus. At the end fo the day i had to stall time cuz sandy wasnt ready. So i had to redo the songs they were gonng be singing. Once again we did if God loves you and you know it song. Then we did i love you Lord, which i had to sing all the songs and on the mic too, in front of millions of kids and parents. haha no im exaggerating, juss like maybe almost a hundred. It was like oh man though! haha they probably man this kid is whack. haha oh well its all for God. Anyway, so after the songs were done. I asked them what do we say after we receieve the Eucarist. They yelled back to me "Amen!" and i said and what does amen mean? They yelled, "i believe!" after then i said and we say "i believe cuz?" Then they yelled that "cuz were receieving Jesus!" i thought to myself, yesss ive done my job! wooO

Then the older kids the Hs kids i had to take care of for a portion of the time. Well first off i dont think they even like me cuz im strict w/them. So all they had to do was put decorate this cross. The cross was already put together they juss need to decorate it. I knew it wouldnt take them long to do, so i was emphasizing the importance of the eucharist. They were getting bored czu they asked, "when are we going to start." i got mad cuz i was talking and they interrupted me cuz what i had to say was imporant. I replied back the more you ask when can we start, the more ill keep talking. They stopped askign after i said that, but then talked within themselves. i was getting irritated, but oh well. I told them what the crosses that theyre making represent and how we need to carry our own crosses errday. I know they dindt want to hurr it, but oh well if i juss got my point across to one kid, then its cool. I told them that when judgement day comes, i dont want to be declined of God's glory.

After i was really tired, but i didnt get a chance to sleep cuz of other things to do. Went the spirit rally @ uci wif kuya, strider, JL, mizike, ariel and reirich. haha there was 7 of us representing which kinda sucks cuz whenever we go anywhere now, theres like only 2 or 3 people to represent our community. SOl was there and they brought like maybe 10 different people. The rally was aiight, i met a couple of new people, and they all said oh you look familiar. As if they knew me or something, i get that a lot. We left early during the intermission cuz i guess errnoe didnt want to stay for the whole entire thing. JL, mizike, strider, kuya and i all went to eat @ fridays by souf coast plaza.

JL brought up a good point during our conversation at the dinner table. How people make their out to be worse than it really it is. Which is i guess dangerous in a way, but still its ridiculous and makes me mad. I hate it when people are all caught up into themselves and are like 'oh man my life sucks' or 'woe is me.' Its so gay, it sucks that they dont appreciate their life. They probably wont appreciate it until something happens or until they finally die and then they end up some place where they dont want to be. Or what bugs me is when they rely on other people to make their happiness. CErtain people whom i know well enough do that, and its juss like oh gosh. They make that person the center of their life. Im not trying to sound bitter or anything, but for example this person's bf broke up w/them. Then after that the person made their life out to be a waste. Then i guess juss recently when they started to talk again bout getting back, they were happy again. Its like oepn your eyes to see the other things that are out there. There;s so much more to life then rely on other people to make you happy.

After fridays, us guys went to starbucks and had quite an interesting nite. I ran into shannel there, it was weird i saw her from afar and i thought she looked familiar. Then she finally saw me so we hugged and said hi. Ha its crazy how i guess friends w/them, being im a lot older then them. Anyway, we talked about a lot of interesting topics there. It was d0pe juss spending time together cuz well we havent done that in a while. We havent all chilled as a whole uprm in a long time. Hopefully, that can happen tonite @ the cheesecake factory. Well thas my thoughts for today, hopefully this time it'll post my entry.

"BAck in the day when i was young im not a kid anymore, but somedays i sit and wish i was a kid again..." im done, im out God bless!

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

Through all the struggles we go through in life, it helps us pick ourselves up. We gain the strength, courage and confidence in these experience which make us stronger. They boost up our self-esteem to not be afraid to take the giant step foward into the next level. Its like how that expression goes, "you gotta do, what you gotta do." Meaning, if we continue to persevere and rise against our struggles, we will be able to do the things we cannot do. If we work hard at what we think we cannot do, then we will be able to overcome that obstacle thas stopping us. Dont deny yourself a great opportunity to move up, you gotta do the thing you cannot do. Hmm it's like learning to ride a bike. Youre so use to the training wheels, when it comes time to learn to actually ride the bike you hesistate. THough if we push ourselves and think in our heads we can do this, then youll be able to get it.

Today was quite an interesting, busy, none the less of a tiring day for me. I shouldve slept in some more this morning, agh and i cant sleep in tomorrow either. oOh Why?! Kuya doesnt have time to spend w/hijo on fridays anymore when he's off. awww hijo is going to end up back on the streets w/gangs again cuz we have no more at risk youf program. hahaha Hijo is going to join the crips cuz there is no more at risk youf program to stop me and counsel me. hahaha Then hijo will get caught in a gang battle and end up at the memorial center cuz i got caught in the battle. Kuyas gotta help get hijo back off of the streets and into skool again. hahaha

Dang my car is soo dirty inside and outside, i think on sun. ill wash it. Hopefully if it doesnt rain or something cuz i cant stand looking at it. I went to pick uP jl and we went to mass @ 1215pm. AFter went to get lunch @ mcdonalds and we juss talked bout old times. jl is my rtb and we havent taken one in a while, so it was d0pe chillin w/her. After lunch, i took her to washignton mutual to get $$. Taught her how to fill out one of those slips cuz she said she didnt know how. I got a couple of funny stories, that happened @ the bank. Well as we pulled up there was this girl and jl was like "aaww she looks so pretty w/long hair and look shes athletic too!" i wasnt paying attention so i was like okay cool. Then we get out of the car and it was my cousin! haha i said hey, then we did small talk and i invited her to prayer meeting.

Second funny story, we go inside and jl tells me this guy in the line looks like her friend. So when we were done, i told her to go tell him. As we were walking towards the door, she tells the guy real loud in passing "hey you look like my friend." haha It was loud where errone stopped what they were doing @ looked at JL.. haha jk no the guy juss looked @ her and smiled. Then she thought he was cute, so we go back inside and she makes a convo w/him. Explaning how he looks like her friend and what skool JL's friend goes to etc. It ended up being his turn to go, so she was like ill wait for you. hahaha We wait for the guy and we do small talk outside. HE asks wehre we are from and tells us he lives in la palma but goes to skool @ poly. He has an apt @ poly so he comes errweekend. He asked us where were from, so we told him bp. Then we learned his name was jay and he goes to cal poly. Jl invites the guy to prayer meeting but then was like well you probably cant come cuz youre live far. He was like naw, i usually dont do anything anyway. hahah roooight, so i guess this is a test to see if he comes.

Went to the buena park mall, looking to get pants, a tie and a shirt. Went to ross and i didnt find anything there rreally. Then we went to malvern towne center to the ross there and i still couldnt find anything over there. Went back to ross and i got pans and tie. Then went to dsw to get shoes there, but i was having some issues there so i left. Cuz i was looking for kenneth cole dress shoes, i know its expensive. Since i dont have any dress shoes i decided to get some, i figured i mine as well go in stlye for tonite. After that i decided to go last min. to robisons may in cerritos mall. I got the shoes that i wanted, the kenneth cole shoes. Then there was an accident on the streets. After that i took jL home, then got ready and went to the soratorios.

Went wif banne to kappa formal, a charade of pretty girls like whoa!! banne did a wonderful talk using the rose as an analogy. I ran into a variety of different people there also @ the formal. The food was aiight, we had salad, then for the main course, mash potatoes w/gravy and some vegetables w/chicken. Since we couldnt eat the chicken we took it home. ONe of the kappas from one of the previous classes asked me to take a family picture for her. So of course i wasnt going to say no, hurrs the catchy part, it was in the mens bathroom. I guess its some kind of tradition for them or something like that. We got into the bafroom and it was kinda weird cuz hurr i was the only guy in there w/a bunch of girls. Though before the fun could start security came in and busted the girls, so they got one pic and we had to get out. That was whack!

I saw when i got in there, darwin from love & faith. He was one of the pledges escorts for the formal. Then i ran into during the brief time banne and i were dancing an old SRe student. She came up to me and was like 'excuse me, whas your name?' then i asked for hers. She told me cat, then she asked kinda like how do i know you type deal. I realized that she was my sre student for 2 years straight! haha thas sooo crazy! Gosh, that was let me see back in 98! ohhh man, that was 5 years ago! sheesh, its weird i always run into old sre kids ive had in my class or people ive subbed for. Then this zeta came up to me and was like "hey werent you at the rally on sat.?" i was like yeah, then he intro. himself to me and blah blah. Those were the people i had ran into there.

The whole nite, was cool, it was pretty interesting to see all the hectic stuff going on. I wanted to dance a little bit more, but its all good i was getting tired anyway. Like i said earlier, so many girls! woooo I felt special my name was in the program and i had a little name tag w/my name on it. hahah wooO! wha else happened, the pledges made the kappa emblem i think as a gift or something. So many people there too, it got crowded pretty quickly.
All these different orgnaizations too and errwhere you turned there was either long hair, short hair or shaved head. haha I had great convos w/banne in the car too, its crazy we have got the charism of understanding online convos! hahah like we can pick up the tone and understand the mood of an online convo. ha i dont know its weird, i never knew anyone else had that! hahaha

Tomorrow is another busy day, i got a retreat to sub for from 745am-230pm. Come home for a little bit, hopefully i can take a nap then leave for liawang till gosh who knows when. I was thinking tonite and i think imma retire from teaching sre after my confirmation kids make their confirmation. Maybe i wont even do bof tues. and thurs. next year cuz its getting to be too much. I need to make sure to slow down a little bit, and not always be on the go. Thoguh we'll see where God leads me by the time SRe rolls around next year. Oh btw i learned that a certain person isnt w/another person, which means that certain person is free! woOO which means i can make a move now! wooOO! haha yeah right i dont do the whole approach thing, i do the ill wait to be approached.

"I see you looking at me I can tell by your eyes that you're feeling me, And I really want you to get close to me
So won't you dance with me, dance with me..."im done, im out God bless!

"Prayer gives us the opportunity to speak to GOD, Meditation allows GOD to speak back to us."

OKay let me clear something up right quick...the picture below kuya put up. He wanted to put up a picture, so i said okay, cuz he kept saying trust kuya. Then i took it off cuz i didnt like it, then i try to log on when i got home and my pw was changed! agH!! So i had to make a promise to kuya that i wouldnt take the picture off in order to get my pw. If i took off the picture then kuya would be pissed @ me, and well i cant have that happening. ::sigh:: so i juss gotta live w/the ugly picture, i did change my pw though so kuya cant tamper w/my blog anymore. I dont know if i could ask him to do blog stuff for me anymore...haha

I like this quote cuz it pretty much speaks for itself. Its hard to find good quotes that i can say a lot about. This one is d0pe cuz it says, through prayer we can talk to God. Tell him how are day was, fill him in w/our anxities, pains and sufferings. Prayer is our personal conference w/God, juss a one on one time w/him. THrough meditation its the 2nd half of the counseling session w/God. This time its your turn to LISTEN and hurr what God has to tell you. Where we open up our pusos and say 'okay God, im giving you my full attention right now.' Juss to reflect upon errthang God has to say and then do what you ahve to do for him.

im suprised im not tired right now, well probably cuz i slept already earlier. Wooo today was aiight, nothing too exciting happend. Man it sucks how some people have just totally messed up their life. People who youd never expect but they make their life so bleH! like so emo all the time, its cuz of the music they listen to. IT totally messed up their heads. They make errthang worse then it out to be and juss makes me mad. I dont know its like why cant you accept what you have? ahhh whats even more irritating is i heard a certain someone might be getting back w/someone else. Big mistake buddy, youre only gonna get brainwashed and messed up too. The person is no good for you and is going to screw you up. It;s nothing but evil yo stay away!

Work was aiight, nothing to big happened today. We had this "we support our troops" small ribbon ceremony today. The mayor honored some fam bam tribe whos son is in the middle east. Then they also honored the los al base. Then we all stapled yellow ribbons to the trees all over city hall. I went to garden grove to the toy store to get butcher paper. I got lost on the way over there, but then luckily i was able to find my way back. agh i was irritated cuz this guy wasnt suppose to cross the cross walk, but he did anyway on my right away. So i got mad cuz i was in a hurry and i honked at the fool. Then he flipped me off, so i honked @ him again as he continuted to cross as i turned, he flipped me off again. haa it was kinda funny actually, but frustrating @ the same time. We made these mini sub sandwhiches for work today, gave one to city council member and the mayor. The mayor needed it too, gotta work those politics! Then i had to ride w/the mayor to this storage unit to get this bbq. OUr mayor is catholic and goes to polycarp, thas so d0pe! it was funny cuz the public works guy was looking for the keys to open the storage garage. Well he had so many he couldnt find it and so the mayor told him, "you better pray start praying to st. anthony." haha i was laughing cuz i thought it was funny cuz i understood.

Jeanne came by and visited me @ work today, so that was cool. She was helping me watch the kids outside. One of the kids called 9-1-1 again, which is like the 8th time it happend within the past 2 months. Though we never know for sure whos doing it. Agh its so irritating, those kids have no sense of discipline i tell you! Got off @ 6pm, then had dinner @ dennys w/el juego and jeanne. I learned on tues. that all this time ive been spelling 'juego' w/an "h" when its suppose to be a "j." ooops! so i gotta remember ot make those changes on my blog link. SRE was aiight, i was sleepy and i kept yawning. I learned that i have to go to the retreat on sat. from 9-230pm. Well actually from 745am i have to be there to set up stations for the kids. Agh the teacher pretty much abandonded her kids. Which left me having to take it over, which totally sucks. Now i gotta wake up early on sat. morning, its gonna be one long day on sat. Hopefully the teacher will call sandy back!

Went to reirichs w/jeanne and Jl for their household. Aela, ariel and their friend mike g. was there. That guy mike g. is cool, he looks like he could be in a boyband. He juss has that style w/the way he was dressed and his hair. haha Then they sang this different version of the Our Father, it sounded like an r & b asian version of it. haha Maybe thas the SFC version of the song, but i was feelin it. So we sat around, talked, watched the laker game, at the end we had a check in. I was tired so i was kinda doozing off and on during the check up. Achie was giving me this really nice hour long massage, which help me relax. ahhh sooooooo relaxing!! i wish i could get that errnite before i go to sleep!

Speaking of achie she had this dream bout me the other nite. She said it was me, el juego, jeanne, her, and i think maurice. Well we were in the PI for some reason all driving to skool. I was able to drive her car and she was in the passenger seat. So she kept emphasizing to me that this car is her baby and to be careful with it. I guess i was like yeah yeah ill be coo with it. I put the car in reverse and i ended up backing into this curb. For some reason the curb was really high and it made a scratch on her bumper. She got pissed off and kept saying get outta hurr get outta hurr! meaning get out of the front seat, i guess i kpet laughing taking it a a joke. Finally i realized she wasnt playing so i got out, then she accelerated the gas into drive cuz she was mad. hahaha it was funny, i can so picture it happening too! Achie said she needed to apologize in person cuz she couldnt do it in the dream. I guess were inside and i was mingling and talking to other people so she was skurred to approach me. hahah weird huh

"And never g-i-v-e u-p and keep your h-e-a-d u-p..."im done, im out God bless!